Q1: Recap/ Q2: Plan

The first three months of the year were pretty productive for me and they centered around one thing: working on a new play. I found out half way through January that I was going to be a part of Moving Arts' MAD Labs Play Development Program. That meant that I would be able to work on a new play from scratch and see it through nine months of readings and workshops. So in February I wrote about 131 pages of a script that I knew would turn into something complete. I had a reading of it in late February and then another reading a few days later. I went off into rewrites and produced a complete version of the play two weeks ago that clocked in at about 156 pages.

And now I'm in the second quarter of the year. What will the next three months bring about?

I finished the second rewrite of the play on April 14th. I now have a decision to make about a new version of this play. I also have a spec script I'm trying to write in the next week. Plus getting to work on this new pilot again. There's a lot to do in this new quarter.

So April will be about finishing the spec script and working on what the new play draft will be.

May will be about writing the play.

June will be about the pilot, I guess.

That's basically how it goes down, I think.

It's a continual forward motion of work. I am grateful to be writing so much. But I would like it to start paying off financially. That's only human, right? I appreciate it for the work that it is. I appreciate the ability to be productive and to generate work. I have much to be grateful in that regard. But I would like a change of pace from just working in my room on work. I would like more collaboration in my life. I am grateful that the theatre company is allowing me that. But I really won't be doing my workshop until August.

I have another round of applications for all of the studio programs starting in May. Once I get the spec written, I'm just going to fill in my applications for everything. Get that all out of the way. Because then I have the fall applications for all the play programs.

I'm hoping that all of this works means that the Third Quarter will mean that I will be traveling for some play development. That would be pretty terrific. And then there's the matter of day jobs.

This is all a reminder to just be grateful for what my day-to-day is. Because I probably won't always have the luxury to just write all day. Not unless there's a big windfall of money. And if there is some pay off where I'm flush with cash, that will only happen because I've written a script that paid me a bunch of money. So I need to keep working.

I am grateful for the time to write every day.
I am grateful to do nothing but that right now.
I am grateful for a community of playwrights and theatre professionals who want me to succeed.
I am grateful for my good health.
I am grateful for positive progress.
I am grateful that I am at least becoming considered for different play development programs.
I am grateful that I have friends whose success inspires me.

I Own This Town

Something happens to me in the morning. I awake and then I awaken. I awaken to the possibility of a new day, a new moment, new ideas. Unfortunately, I don't get up early enough usually to watch the city wake up. It is my natural rhythm, but it's not my boyfriend's. I need to remedy that at some point.

But this morning I woke up at 4:45 in order to take his sister and her husband to the airport. Most people would probably think "Ugh!" I was excited to be up early and to drive in my city without any traffic impeding me or slowing me down. We got in the car and had a leisurely conversation - or as much of a conversation as we can have that early in the morning. Some of it was spent in silence, which I love. I love silence in the morning. It's my favorite experience. Whenever I drive to Northern California, I try to leave before the sun comes up so when I hit Santa Barbara or Ventura, the sun is rising and reflecting on the ocean. I really love it. It's such a cheap thrill. Free art.

So I got them to the airport with my short cut and dropped them off. Then I cut over so I could cut across the airport straight from Terminal 1 to Terminal 7 and the exit. I exited the airport and thought about the way home. I didn't want to just take the 405 back to get home as soon as possible. I had no traffic, so the possibility of driving through the city was thrilling. It was a road trip. I got to encounter my city as it was waking up.

I drove up Sepulveda through Culver City and up to Santa Monica Blvd. For a moment, I thought I would just jump on the 405 from there. But when the light took too long to change, I decided to go right instead of left. I was driving through Century City. This large expansive almost-highway sized street took me past the Mormon Tabernacle on my left and the Century City Mall on my right. I zoomed past the tall law office buildings and I felt like the city was mine. I felt like I could have pulled over in front of any of the buildings on Century Park East and gotten out and danced around. It was that quiet, deserted and beautiful. There were no cars buzzing around. No business being done. The mall wasn't even open.

Then I decided to take Little Santa Monica Blvd instead of staying on N. Santa Monica. I drove through Beverly Hills, past the shops and the doctors offices I had been to many times. I had all green lights as I was driving past streets that had often held me up at 4 PM on a Thursday. It was beautiful. I felt the parts of the city open up to me and letting me proceed. Little Santa Monica became Burton and I continued down. I turned on Robertson, but it wouldn't let me get past Third. Street closures. Some sort of race or something. So I got onto Third. I drove down those streets. I kept trying to creep up closer North and eventually made my way onto Beverly, then Melrose and finally I turned onto Vine and started going North. The sun was up and I was driving through Hollywood.

This is my town. I got to drive through every aspect of it in the course of 30 minutes. I couldn't believe how lucky I was as I was on Cahuenga going over the hill and turning on Barham to get back home. Past the Warner Brothers lot, I drove leisurely and appreciated the mini road trip, which encapsulated the journey of my life. I had driven past neighborhoods I used to live in and past buildings I used to work in. I drove past places I had visited when I was young and again when I was older. I have a relationship with this city that survives wherever my life and my career happen to be in that moment. I have a relationship with Los Angeles that has nothing to do with competition or my place in line.

Just that one drive reminded me how wonderful it is to be here. The bones of this city are great. Sometimes it gets congested and crazy. Traffic stresses me out. But if I just remember that traffic can be its own gift and if I can remind myself of what it feels like when I glide through the city, maybe it won't seem so overwhelming. Sometimes when you let things get in your way and you don't travel at the right time, the journey across town can seem endless. But when you know where you're going and when to get there, you get there in no time at all.

I am grateful for the journey.
I am grateful for the people along the way.
I am grateful for silence.
I am grateful for peace and quiet.

From My Meditation Journal: Definition of Success

I appreciate where I am now.
That's my definition of success.
If I can appreciate where I am in this moment,
then I can get the most of this moment.
If I worry about where I should be, or why I am not
somewhere else,
then I am somewhere else
and not here.
But I need to be here
in order to get everything
here has to offer.
It's like an Easter Egg Hunt.
I need to get all of the eggs in this area,
before I can move to the next area.
But if I'm worried about all the eggs I might be missing,
then I might leave too soon and miss out on the eggs
that were right in front of me.

I have no money.
I have no earnings.
I write every day.
I live in a state of awareness every day.
That is a bigger success than I have had ever.
One day I will have more money.
I will have earnings.
The success will be to stay in this state of awareness,
to make it a constant
despite having more distractions.
But having those distractions
are an essential part of having an even
deeper consciousness.
It's part of the journey.
It's part of my success.
So it's not a question of if I will have more money and material wealth and success.
It is a matter of when.
But it's not so others can notice how incredibly successful I am.
And it's not to prove that I'm better than them.
It's the next level of me getting to a deeper consciousness.

Listen,
having money can be about any of those things.
It can be about showing off.
It can be about being in a state of deeper consciousness.
Wealth is going to happen anyway.
Distractions are going to happen anyway.
Good fortune is going to happen anyway.
But what I do with it
is entirely up to
where my consciousness is.
I don't have to chase it
because it is following me
and it will soon catch up with me.
The acknowledgment I have been seeking
will soon catch up with me.
But will my consciousness catch up with me
before the acknowledgement does?
Will I have the advantage of a deeper consciousness
before I have the advantage of deeper pockets?
That's success.

I am grateful for consciousness.
I am grateful that it has caught up with me.
I am grateful for meaning in my life.
I am grateful for my success.
I am grateful for the joy of my nephew.
I am grateful for the optimism of my niece.
I am grateful for the smiles of my other nephew.
I am grateful for family time.
I am grateful for the openness of my mother.
I am grateful for the forcefulness of my father.
I am grateful for patience of my brother.
I am grateful for the love of my friends.