Community: What is Community?

I've been having fun writing these blog posts about community. I find myself a part of many different and diverse communities lately. I've been working in television. I'm a playwright. And I also teach (more on that community at some point soon). But so far I haven't written about the community I was born into - both as a child of people and as a member of three distinct marginalized cultures. Writing this new play has been a revelation in terms of writing about my cultural background. I have been affected by writing and presenting this play in ways that I hadn't anticipated. It seems to warrant a conversation about community in general.

I was on set today talking to an actor friend of mine. He is on our show and was in a reading of a play of mine a long time ago. I had a black binder in my lap - my new play, which I'm currently rewriting. And also rewriting in between takes and during set ups. I'm trying to use every moment I have to rewrite. I talked about how I never write about my family - except for the play he was in and this new play. I realized that this actor only knows me from those two reference points, so in his mind, it's not weird that I would be writing a new play about my family.

I'm rewriting a TV pilot which is about a family of chefs that also reflect my family's cultural background - being Chinese and Mexican. Two years ago, I wrote a screenplay based on my childhood as a kid obsessed with Woody Allen. I was never comfortable writing about myself or my family. I always thought I should be writing about "people" and not my specific story. Well, those stories often end up being about white people. But I wasn't raised as someone who ever felt a strong connection to my cultural background. I try to not fault my family for this, but they didn't want our ethnicity to hold us back.

However, I have no problem writing about being gay. I used to say it was easier because it was the culture I became a part of as an adult. I've always been gay. But I haven't always embraced the culture. I had no one to share it with growing up. So being gay is a part of my identity. Although, my ex boyfriend doesn't feel like he's gay in the traditional sense, so he's got a different relationship to his sexual orientation. Much like I have a different relationship to my race than other Asian or Latino friends. But writing about my life has made me closer to my family's story. I've embraced my origins - the family I was born into rather than the one I created. I love the family I've created - whether that's other gays, other brown people or other artists. I never want to be removed from that family.

I think - to answer my own question - that community is where you feel the most heard and the most understood. I have a community of writers because writers share certain commonalities and we all understand how hard it is to be creative. I have a community of gay friends because we have a shared experience of being bullied or misunderstood. I have a community of Asian and Latino friends because when they talk about their families, I feel like they could be talking about my own. I feel like I finally have that community that I was lacking as a kid.

When I was sitting around that rehearsal table at Center Theatre Group last week, I felt like I was with family. A lot of the actors looked like I could be related to them. But they also can hear their stories in the smallest details of mine. I don't have to define my culture for anyone outside of it. I was told by my manager to make my pilot characters more culturally specific. For whom? People outside of my culture? They'll get it. Just like I get their culture even though I'm not a part of it. Those stories resonate. The truth resonates. I love being a part of a community of like minded people. But I think I also need to be a part of communities that welcome me in, even though I'm not "one of their own." Community is whoever embraces you and celebrates you. And that could mean a lot of colors, ages, experiences and philosophies different from your own.

My intention is to work all week.
My intention is to open my mind, heart and soul.
My intention is to finish scripts.

I am grateful for the time I spend on set.
I am grateful for collaborators who listen.
I am grateful for all of the fun I'm having. 
I am grateful for everything I am learning.
I am grateful for the crew, the cast, and the creatives on this series.
I am grateful to be stretched to my limits.
I am grateful that I get to set new limits or no limits.

Girl Group

I'm a playwright.

That means I'm a pretty artsy guy, I guess.

I like to have conversations about art and theatre

and dance and poetry and politics and a bunch of 

other smart stuff.

I also like it when I get to talk to other playwrights 

about any and all of the above.

Last night, I went to a party celebrating the release of a list of 46

plays written by women that are available for production.  They have 

either had one production or no productions.  This is in reaction to a ridiculous,

antiquated and frankly behind the times idea that it's hard to find plays

by women to produce.

So a group of 13 women called The Kilroys have gotten together

along with 127 theatre professionals

to curate a list of 46 plays written by women

pared down from

over 300 that were submitted for the vote.

And it has started a revolution, 

a cultural conversation, 

one that isn't just about complaining

or being sad or defeated or lost or pissed off,

although maybe this revolution started with that

impulse.  But these women went and did something about it.

And they put the theatre world on blast,

which I think is a terrific thing.

I'm hoping that this List will inspire other lists

for other populations of people who are

left out of the mix.

It was inspiring to know that just one simple action,

expanded through plenty of phone calls, emails

and elbow grease,

talked about on Twitter

and spread across the media landscape 

could spark a revolution.

And that's what it is.  A revolution.

It sparked a change in thought

and a non-acceptance of the way things are.

A rejection of a certain status quo.

I love that in any and all forms.

And although I am not a woman,

the fact that these women spoke up

affects me as a gay, Chinese, Mexican person.

It means that we're not going to stand for 

things being the way they are.

Yes, there are other conversations that need to happen

like how do we make room for these plays

in spaces and among communities that don't normally

find theatre.

As in all other media,

there's a conversation to be had about distribution.

But for now,

it's plenty enough

for us just to start a conversation

and piss some men off

and piss some women off

and realize that when you make a big noise

people will move away from the big noise

or cover their ears

or try to SHUSH you really loudly.

That's just the cost of speaking up.

And it's such a small cost to pay.

One of my favorite parts of the evening

was that it brought together a lot of women

but also a lot of men who support women

to support this cause.

And I got to talk with old friends

about things that were important to all of us.

And I got to have conversations with new friends

and forge connections based on common beliefs.

I love when I get to do that too.

Mostly, it made me feel like a part of a real community,

a real relevant and caring community.

It was beautiful.

And now back to the business of writing plays 

in ways that I want to write plays.

I am grateful for a new office sharing partnership.

I am grateful to be motivated.

I am grateful to be supported.

I am grateful to be alive.

I am grateful to be a playwright.

I am grateful to be a writer who writes every day.

I am grateful for success.

I am grateful for motivation.

I am grateful for a desk to call my own.

Writing Wingmen (and Wingwomen)

Right now I have a pretty open schedule.  That's Hollywood speak for "unemployed."  I'm definitely making the most out of my time and I'm getting a lot of writing done.  But when you don't have an office to go to, it's hard to get your ass out of bed and to get on a schedule.  That's the good thing about having a writing partner.  You have someone you have to be accountable to every day.  The bad thing about having a writing partner is that it's like another relationship and I don't want to be in another relationship.  I love collaboration, but I've always been a solo act when it comes to writing.  It's just what I know.  But I do like the idea of having someone who is there to make sure I'm writing.

That's where my friend Larry comes in.  One day about a year and a half ago, we were chatting about having writing partners.  Both of us came to the same conclusion: we want someone to push us, but we don't want to have a partner.  So I suggested we be each other's wingman.  We would get together once a week or so (depending on our schedules) and check in about how the writing's going.  We would meet up at a coffee place in his hood, which was fine.  But eventually the new West Hollywood Library opened up and we decided that we should meet up to write and to chat.  So we give ourselves three hours.  That's the length of free parking you have in the library parking lot.  We meet up generally on Wednesdays from 11-2.  We work for about 90 minutes and then talk for 90 minutes.  It helps having a set appointment every week.  And it's good just to talk about what we're working on and encouraging each other.

My friend Susan and I do that just in weekly check-ins, either in person or on the phone.  My wingwoman relationship with Susan is much more on a holistic, spiritual level.  She'll do my tarot cards.  We'll get together for lunch.  We'll have dinner at her place.  I'll babysit her kid, then we'll hang out afterwards.  But it's just a good touchstone.  Lately, we've been going on walks together. Talking about the things we want for ourselves.

My friend Elyzabeth, who now teaches in Tennessee, and I try to do that when we can.  But she's got a young daughter and a busy schedule.  We hardly find time to get together on the phone.  But we're always thinking about each other and keeping each other on top of various submission and teaching opportunities.  Actually, she's been letting me know what's out there more than the reverse lately.

And lately, my friend Andrea and I have been getting together on days that I'm not meeting with Larry at the library.  Our sessions are longer.  We do a couple of hours, then lunch, then a couple more hours.  She's applying for graduate schools.  I'm working on these play rewrites.  But we're both there for each other to make sure we keep our heads above water.

When I was teaching, I stressed the importance of having a personal network of people you trust who keep you on your toes.  Even as a student, I knew the importance of having people who believed in me when other people maybe didn't get it yet.  And these wing people keep my head on straight.  I love having them in my life.  They are people I respect and admire.  I think they're talented and they're just good people.  And when I look at the work I need to get done before the end of the year, I know I need them more than ever.