I have been away for a week, spending time with family, so I have a lot of saved up thoughts that I want to get out in a series of blog posts. So while these aren't fresh thoughts, they're not exactly moldy either. I hopefully my perspective from being away from Los Angeles for a week is a fresh one.
So enjoy this barrage of posts from my travels…
December 6, 2013
I flew in to Portland, Oregon for a week to visit my brother who was receiving his doctorate. Well, that's a bit presumptuous. He would be receiving his doctorate as long as he defended his thesis properly. This is the culmination of a six year journey for my brother. In that time, he got married to his long time girlfriend, had two kids (a third is on the way), bought his first house, sold it and then bought his second house. Also, our grandmother and our father died in that time as well. So his graduate career has been fraught with a lot of upheaval. But here he was coming in for a landing and his original family (my mother and I) flew up to watch him defend his thesis.
Of course, we knew that we weren't going to understand a single thing. My brother works in the field of Immunology and Infectious Diseases. But even the title of his talk was confusing:
Characterization of the CD8 T Cell Response to a Replication-deficient Murine Cytomegalovirus Infection
Proof positive that my brother is a smartie. I won't break down the finer details of his talk here, but I will say that it was remarkable to watch my brother with a command of his subject matter and a full grasp of his knowledge and abilities. In other words, he knows his shit. So even though I and my mother (to a larger degree) had no idea what he was talking about, it freed us both up to watch the observations of those around him. And those around him were raptured by his talk. My brother has an unassuming presence. He's a brilliant guy but he doesn't throw that in someone's face to try and alienate them. In a way, we're similar because we don't want to push people away with our knowledge and expertise. His talk had a tone of that, but it was completely grounded in his knowledge.
At the end of his talk, he made a list of acknowledgements and at the very end acknowledged his family for their support. He kind of grazed over my parents (or maybe that was my perception) and talked about our relationship. He said we were like "twinsies" and that no one understood him as much as I did, which makes sense since we spent 15 years sharing a room together. I teared up, of course.
After his talk, he went into a private session and then we gathered for an informal reception for him (which I ended up catering, but that's a boring story). At the reception, my mom and I both talked to a bunch of his professors and the folks on his thesis committee. My Mom was so proud because everyone commented about what a compassionate person my brother is. I chatted with a bunch of people about playwriting and an upcoming meeting I had at Portland State. On the drive home, Mom said that people told her that she should be proud with both of her sons. I'm glad she got that recognition because she both deserves it and I think needs it.
It was clear to me after watching my brother talk that we were in fact opposite sides of the same coin. He's a scientist and I'm an artist. But our experiences were very similar in how we navigate through worlds that initially were foreign to us. We have both made our way in worlds that we were not born into, financially and academically. But we have a serious commitment to our personal history and the road that got us to where we are today. It makes me proud to know that I've got someone in my life who understands me that severely. I think his mind works out puzzles in a way that mine doesn't. But I'm articulate and I grasp language in a way that he doesn't. He's involved in the world of academia and I might be heading back there as a professor if things go the way I want them to. It's remarkable how much overlap there is in our experiences. And that's why we will always be close because even though we are different people with different interests and abilities, we ended up on journeys that mirror each other. And in a time of deep uncertainty, it's comforting to know that there is someone there who understands.
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