I have been away for a week, spending time with family, so I have a lot of saved up thoughts that I want to get out in a series of blog posts. So while these aren't fresh thoughts, they're not exactly moldy either. I hopefully my perspective from being away from Los Angeles for a week is a fresh one.
So enjoy this barrage of posts from my travels…
Besides coming to town to celebrate my brother's accomplishments and to hang out with my niece and nephew, I had a meeting with the head of the theatre department at Portland State University. We had met over the summer at a theatre festival and started talking about her interest in starting an MFA program in Dramatic Writing at PSU. So when I knew I was coming to town, I got in touch with her and we sat down for a conversation about what I could possibly bring to the table.
I'm firmly committed to teaching on the University level. I don't want that to negate my pursuit of a television writing career, but I also feel like I need to be better as a writer. Not for the industry and not to prove myself to anyone other than myself. I think that teaching will help me focus on the aspects of craft I already know, by teaching them to students. And I think that getting the opportunity to workshop some of my plays in an academic setting where I have access to a theatre and enthusiastic actors who want to learn from my process will do nothing but catapult me forward. Forward into what, exactly? Well, not just fame and fortune because I realize that both are elusive and not goals that have much reward on a deeper level. I've been out in LA for ten years and my pursuit of those things primarily has left me pretty empty. I just want to be satisfied by the work I'm doing and to let the rest of it figure itself out. I've got a lot of attributes that would make me an excellent successful and rich TV writer/producer, but whether or not that happens isn't up to me. I'm learning to let that go.
So teaching isn't just me cowering with my tail between my legs. It's a chance at a career that's deeply satisfying on an artistic and spiritual level. As long as I have that, I can figure out the money stuff. I didn't have any expectations from this meeting, but I was curious. It was finals week, so our meeting would have to take place in her office instead of us going to get coffee somewhere as planned. No worries. I threw my coat down, smiled and started chatting. She initially forgot why we were meeting. No problem. I reminded her that I was there to talk about this MFA program she was thinking about setting up. She relaxed a bit.
In talking about my background and what I felt I brought to the table, I noticed that she started taking notes. I should be clear that I was basically walking in and I started talking about a job that didn't exist and that I never expressed explicitly that I was applying for. But the old saying goes that you should just start doing the job that you want. In this case, I started interviewing for the job that I want. The new agey types call this manifesting. I'm not shy about using that term. That's exactly what I've been doing.
There are no opportunities out there for me on the horizon. I'm applying for jobs. And I'm writing. But I also know that my unemployment insurance is running out very shortly and instead of moping about that, I just have to start moving in the direction I want to be in. And if money is any indication of where I want to put my energy, I spent money on this trip to Portland to seek out an opportunity. I took time out from my regularly scheduled life of freelancing to put my energy towards something I really want to pursue and think I'd be good at: putting together an MFA program.
I'm not saying that she wants my help or thinks that my expertise would be useful. But I know what I'm good at and I know what background I have. But I won't do it for free. I need a commitment at some point soon, if there's even a possibility. I know my value.
So we continued to talk about the way I approach teaching and playwriting. She asked if I could send her some syllabi and I agreed to do that. At the end of the conversation, I offered to come up and do a master class or a workshop if there was ever any need. She came back and said that maybe we could try out a summer course if there was the budget for it. That was a better result than I expected.
When I got back to my brother's house, after meeting up with a friend, I saw that I had an email from her thanking me for the meeting and expressing that we should talk mid-January about any possibilities for the summer and beyond. I saw that as a good sign. I had made an impression. It went as good as it could have.
But I'm not closed off to just that opportunity. I think that would be a thrilling opportunity for me because I could be in on the genesis of a new MFA program and I could be close to my brother and his family. Both amazing prospects that fulfill me on a professional and a personal level. I do feel like someone in our family should be close to the kids and I think that would make my brother feel great. But more importantly, I feel like I'm putting the energy into being a playwright in academia, so if the opportunity includes the job in Atlanta or the job in Iowa (or any other positions that come up), then I'm sending my intentions to the Universe. If the opportunities also include workshopping plays at various summer play festivals, to support my work as a playwright, then it all adds up to making this an even better opportunity and it shifts the energy into one of productivity, creativity and optimism. I think I'm already heading in that direction, but these opportunities support that.
I feel like the Universe is conspiring in small ways that could go unnoticed, but are propelling me forward.
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