Advice

When I'm talking do people think I'm full of shit?

I give a lot of advice. I receive a lot of advice as well. I'm not sure any of it is any good - maybe all of it is good and my judgment is off.

An upper-level TV writer I know asked to read two pilots of mine. After reading the beginnings of them - no one reads beyond the first ten if they don't have to. The only people who read beyond the first ten are friends. I once tried to get out of reading a friend's pilot after reading the first half and having real issues with it. He guilted me into reading the rest of it. Apparently, I thought I was a professional or something and tried to get away with just reading to the point where I knew it wasn't going anywhere. I don't find fault at all with this upper-level writer only reading the first ten - if that - of those pilots. Who has time? I used to read scripts for work and I would only read the first ten if I knew they were bad. Another writer - who coincidentally is about to run the show that my friend the upper-level writer is on - admitted the very same thing last week at an event I went to.

Make the first ten pages amazing - that's a piece of advice I've both given and received. I had a moment of panic the other day that I'm going to end up like a college professor I had who was a great directing teacher and a horrible director. Am I great at teaching writing, but horrible at it? Or did this writer just not respond to the material? The good news is that this writer is still a fan and wants to continue to support me. She offered to write me recommendations if I apply to any of the studio programs, which I'm thinking about doing. She also offered to read more work and she's looking for some sample pitches for me to look at for spec pilots. This is all incredibly generous of her.

And fortunately, I'm supposed to be taking another pass at a pilot I've been working on. I think the things she mentioned about my work are - for better or for worse - hallmarks. I need to make the opening of this script amazing. But I also need to make it absolutely clear what drive this character has throughout the script.

My goal is to staff on a network, cable or streaming show as soon as possible. My drive needs to be clear as well. I know that in order to do that, I have to have a great sample. I already have two plays that are strong samples. I have yet to produce a pilot that gets people excited. And maybe I also need a spec that gets people excited. I do hate the game of it all. But if you don't realize you're playing a game, you're going to get swallowed up by it.

It has taken me a long time to accept that I'm applying for a job. It does not define me as an artist or a person. It does not define my self worth. I lead a life I enjoy. I write plays I love. I have an incredible community of fellow artists around me. Being a successful TV writer will make life easier financially. It will also structure my life into a series of compromises. Everything's a trade-off. But here's what I do know.

I love production.
I love working with actors.
I love collaborating with directors.
Theatre's not enough for me.
I have to raise my voice so that it's counted among the many.

A few years ago, I gave my friend Cory a piece of advice. You have to have a pilot that has the same feeling as your plays. That's advice I can finally take. I think when I gave Cory that advice I hadn't written a play that I felt spoke in my voice. My friend Gina said to me recently - You should always write in that voice. So I think this sample I'm writing right now has to be in that voice. It has to have larger than life characters and be both funny and poignant. But my voice is also vulgar, crass and alive.

The thing about advice is that it has to resonate. I thought my friend's advice came from a place of real care. She told me that my work isn't that far off. I've got great characters and a cool world. But I need the story.

I teach at San Diego State once a week. I give my students tons of advice. I need to start taking it. I'm telling them to be patient with themselves and to not beat themselves up. I tell them that they're going to be good at one or two elements of dramatic storytelling - story, world or characters. And there will be one element it will take them awhile to grasp. 

I need to take my own advice. I need to act as if I'm giving someone advice, because I'm good at it. I've made it this far. I know I need to keep going. Our union may be going on strike. If we do, I have to use that time to create new material.

I am attending a conversation tomorrow with a showrunner/playwright who's also Latino. He's going to be there to give advice about meeting with showrunners. I am then meeting with showrunners the following week. And then I'm going to CBS to meet with executives about telling certain Latino stories. I am networking as much as I can. I have material that's going to get people interested. Now, I need the next piece of material to keep them interested. That's the key.

Here's the thing. I'm in a fine position. And I need to remember that.  I'm working with a writer/director I respect who's directing my next episode. I'm working with great people who respect me. I've got talented friends. I worked with mid level writers who I think liked working with me. I've got people who could possible recommend me for a job. I'm in the arena. I'm in the mix. I'm not tailgating or waiting to see if I get in. Or in the stands. I am in the arena on the floor. I'm actually playing. And if I'm not playing, I'm on the bench. But I'm on a fucking team. Someone said to me recently, "I'd love to be where you are." And I have to remember that.

Appreciate where you are and use that momentum to keep going. Good advice.

My intention is awareness.
My intention is patience.
My intention is stillness.
My intention is inner peace. 
My intention is appreciation.

I am grateful for friendships.
I am grateful for work relationships.
I am grateful for the generosity of people who know me.
I am grateful for people who know what I can do.