Work, Bitch!

Yes, I am a huge Britney Spears fan.

Could I be any more sarcastic?  This is not the place to discuss my feelings on the Britney vs. Christina debate (which seems outdated at this point) or to go on about how I feel with Britney as a Princess of Pop or an heir apparent to Madonna.  That would be a waste of my time.  But I have been thinking a lot about work lately and whether I know how to "Work, Bitch!" or if I'm just setting myself up to be a Work Bitch, a put upon laborer.

I found myself in two interesting circumstances this week (one of which I'm still in).  I had someone call me about a freelance gig, a friend of a friend.  And I'm in no position to refuse work right now.  So I sent my quotes and they were higher than this person can afford with her client.  I get that.  I probably would have done the job for what she had asked because I could use the cash.  But I put out there what I thought my time was worth.  And this client wouldn't be willing to pay that.  Part of me immediately felt like I should have emailed my friend back and said, "Oh, I'll do it!  That's fine."  Money is important to living.  But I also knew that I was sticking to what I thought I was worth.

Then another friend called me today about a ghost writing gig.  She asked me to send my quote and I thought about it for a bit.  I could lower my quote.  I could lowball so I get the job.  But I gave her the quote I thought I deserved (at least).  It's pretty arrogant to be picky when you need the dough.  But I'm not going back to being the person I was before, who didn't value himself enough to ask for what he wanted.  And who was scared of asking for the money he felt he deserved for a job.

Besides, I've got plenty going on right now.  I have a lot of creative projects to contend with.  And that's what I love doing.  But it's not what is paying the bills.  And I have bills to pay.  But I have to be clear with myself that if I take a job for the money, I know how long I'm willing to do it.  Survival's a tricky thing.  There's nothing wrong with working to survive.  Most people do it.  And some people would say that it's arrogant to think that I'm anything special.  But that's my work right now.  To realize what I'm worth.  And there are some very clear price tags being written up.

That's the hard part about being a creative person.  We have to make choices that aren't always directed by the choices we want to make, the choices we feel feed our soul.  Then again, we can't look at others to feed our soul.  We need to do the work.  And the money is energy.  I keep telling myself that because I don't believe it yet.  Money is energy.

So remembering that, if you do something to make money and you put it before everything else, that's your Number One Priority.  That's where the energy is going.  But you can turn the energy, too.  You can think about the money you spend and how it helps you achieve the things you want.  I used to do that with my EDD Debit Card for my Unemployment.  Because even if the money is helping you stay in your apartment or puts food on your table, that's the shelter and the food that you need to sustain.

But that's the important distinction for me.  Am I Work's Bitch?  Or am I gonna work it, bitch?  I want to work it.  I have to be in control of what I want.  I have to realize my value and I have to know that I am entitled to having exactly what I want.  And "entitled" is not a dirty word.

I'm working on that one.  Every day.  Though my affirmations.  Through my running.  Through my blogging.  Through sitting down to work.  Through going to the gym, knowing that I deserve to have a brain and look hot.  One doesn't diminish the other.  I'm taking a Bullshit Detector to all of my thoughts and figuring out which ones are negative (aka Bullshit).  Because I don't need that Bullshit.  No one does.