Getting Ready: Q1 2015

Since I've spent the past two months recovering from the previous ten and refilling my tank, I suppose it's good to really start planning for what I'm going to get done at least in the first quarter of 2015.

January 2015

I have this new play to write. One that absolutely terrifies me. That's funny because I also have a pilot to rewrite that terrifies me. So maybe 2015 is the year of being scared shitless and doing it anyway. I have either a preoccupation or an obsession with death. It's all over these two projects. I never wrote about death before my Dad died. Or I never went after it like I am preparing to do with these two projects. Maybe that's what's scaring me. I can't figure it out. It's paralyzing. And it makes no sense to me, especially after getting so much done earlier this year.

So in January, I'll probably be finishing up the rewrite on the pilot and getting ready to start the new play.

February 2015

That's easy. It's the Playwrights Union Writing Challenge. So I'll be writing a play.

I'm also assuming both the Sundance and Humanitas deadlines will be this month. So the pilot needs to be done by February in order for me to submit.

March 2015

I should be thinking about writing some new spec for these writers fellowships that are coming along. I'm usually writing them the month they are due. Maybe I should take a different approach this year and give myself an ample amount of time to get shit done.

I'll also be rewriting the play and getting it ready for our May festival.

And that's the first part of my year. I'm sure other things will come up. Things I need to attend to. But for now, that's where my year will begin. I'm not going to set a certain amount of scripts I need to write. I'm not going to try and top five in a year. I might even need to go back and rewrite some things that I wrote in 2014. Take another look at my screenplay.

I'm setting myself up for a busy first quarter. But that's good. Set the pace. Get things moving.

I am grateful to get the year started right.
I am grateful to have a plan.
I am grateful to know what I want to work on.
I am grateful for good ideas.

Closing Out the Year

Offices across the country are doing their year-end reviews. They're "closing out" 2014. Since I've loved the financial metaphor of looking at each Quarter, I guess it makes sense that I'm closing out this year.

This year was great. It was productive. It was exciting. I got a lot done. The 4th Quarter of the year was good. I finished a new pilot. I got some feedback. And that was over a month ago. I'm not sure why that feels like such a letdown. I wrote five scripts this year! I got notes from a manager who I like a little over a month ago. Yet, I feel that since I didn't write that next draft in 30 seconds or less that I've failed. I need to stop negating my success by looking at what I didn't get done in the past five weeks. It's stupid.

I have an approach to this next draft. Fear's holding me back a little bit. I'm also planning out my next play. I have the first quarter of 2015 spoken for with two projects. I need to slow my roll a bit and give myself a break.

I have so much more room in which to be so much nicer to myself. And more patient. Why is that so hard for me?

That's part of what I have to close out.

I have two full-length pilots I'm ready to show.
Plus a new screenplay.
I have two plays they can look at.

If someone wants to look at my comedy samples, I have two pilots. One single camera. And one multi-camera
I've got sketches.
I'm ready to go.

I've successfully fashioned myself into a new writer.
This new pilot is a darker take on what I do.
I'm ready to take that leap.
I'm ready to make that jump.

My new play is way dark.

I have a feeling that 2015 is going to be the year of the darkness.
I have to just dive in and stop being afraid of my dark side.
I have to go there.

I am so grateful for all of the writing I did this year.
It made me a better writer.
Five scripts will do that.

I just have to seal the deal with this last rewrite.

I am grateful for a wonderful productive year.
I am grateful for the new love I have for myself.
I am grateful for a patient and loving boyfriend.
I am grateful that I took a year to write.
I am grateful that I did what I wanted.
I am grateful that I have effectively redefined myself as a writer and as a person.
I am grateful to see the changes in me take shape.

Party Season

Oh, the holiday party season is here.
Cue the Christmas Carols.
Watch your boozing.
Get out your fat pants.
It's time to shake your ass and be a dancing monkey.

Our Playwrights Union had their annual Holiday party on December 1st.
That was a lot of fun. I got to hang out with old friends and drink beers
in Downtown LA. I schmoozed a bit and shook my ass a bit too.
Tonight I think I'm heading to another Holiday party.
This one has a suggested donation, which I think is a bit of a crock,
but it's a good excuse to see friends and
celebrate good Holiday cheer.
We'll see how long I last. Last year's party was very nice.
This year's should be cool too.
But the party I'm really looking forward to is a party I was just invited to
for the best ad agency in the world.
I'm going with my best friend's aunt who works there and who invited me to
be her plus one.
This is a real holiday party.
Free food.
Free booze.
Dancing and tomfoolery.
That's MY type of holiday party.
I don't want to have to bring something.
I don't want to have to donate because it's a "fundraiser."
I don't want to have to buy my own drinks.
I want to get plastered, to be well fed and to be given a voucher
to get my ass home in a town car.
The last part might not happen, although it used to when I worked for another
big ad agency in Portland. That was always a cool thing.
The ad party has a theme: monochromatic.
So I have to go look for an outfit that will be all one color.
I wear a lot of grey, so I could do that with a sparkly silver sequined hat.
I have a pair of aqua blue pants, so I'm thinking of doing different blues.
I have to see what I find.
But I want to mix it up.
Those are the holiday parties I miss.
Back in the day when I used to work in an industry with money.
Being a playwright is absolutely gratifying to my soul,
but not so much when it comes to the quality of holiday parties.
I'm also expecting a special holiday guest,
like a Lady Gaga or a Cher
singing "Silver Bells."
That's on my list this year.

I am grateful for holiday parties.
I am grateful for another wonderful year.
I am grateful for good times and good friends.
I am grateful for places to go.

A December to Remember?

Well, this has been an interesting month and it's only the 2nd.

I got hired for a freelance gig a week ago.
And I got fired today.
Due to circumstances that have nothing to do with me.
But that's just the way that it worked.

So I'm going to take that information this way:

This is going to be an exciting and unpredictable month.

I'm a risktaker.
Right?
That seems to be what I'm telling myself these days.
I have had a year that has been unpredictable.
So why shouldn't the end of the year be that way?

I'm going to take it in stride and accept that the rest of the year will be full of fun, freedom and unpredictability. Because that's all I can do.
I have been in control of my destiny all year
and it's not right to end it with someone else in control of my life.
And it's not a good omen for 2015 either.
I have to leave that in my past.
And getting fired was such a sign of that because I went and did some freelancing for an old boss.
And ran into old problems.
That shouldn't have been a surprise.
But I have moved on from that.
This last experience certainly taught me that.

I'm always looking for the lesson.
And here are the ones that I've come up with:

• Don't do something only for money.
• Leave the past in the past.
• You tell people the way you want to be treated (I can't take credit for that one, that's what my friend Susan told me).
• There's more out there.
• Don't give up.
• Don't settle.
• Don't become them.
• Know thyself.
• Kill them with kindness.

Now they're just sounding like bumper stickers, not lessons.

I don't deserve to be treated like somebody's slave. That's a lesson. And my self-respect can't be traded in for a paycheck. There's another one.

I'm not that person any more. I'm not someone who can stomach being unhappy anymore. The good news is that I'm repellant to that kind of behavior. I was telling someone earlier that the big lesson is that my reaction and response to the environment around me is more important than trying to stay away from bad behavior. It's Hollywood. Bad behavior is fortified and supported. In some cases, it's encouraged. There's nothing I can do to it. All I can do is control my response. That's what I am in control of.

Just as unpredictable this sudden freelance gig was is its short span. Here today, gone tomorrow. Again, that's the unpredictability and excitement of life in play. So all I can do is be playful about it all and get excited for the next unexpected adventure to come.

And it's only Day Two. So I'm counting on this being quite the December to Remember.

I am grateful for unpredictability.

I am grateful for fun.

I am grateful for good friends and inspiration.

I am grateful for the people in my life who bring out the very best in me.

I am grateful for all of my good fortune.