Closing Out the Year

Offices across the country are doing their year-end reviews. They're "closing out" 2014. Since I've loved the financial metaphor of looking at each Quarter, I guess it makes sense that I'm closing out this year.

This year was great. It was productive. It was exciting. I got a lot done. The 4th Quarter of the year was good. I finished a new pilot. I got some feedback. And that was over a month ago. I'm not sure why that feels like such a letdown. I wrote five scripts this year! I got notes from a manager who I like a little over a month ago. Yet, I feel that since I didn't write that next draft in 30 seconds or less that I've failed. I need to stop negating my success by looking at what I didn't get done in the past five weeks. It's stupid.

I have an approach to this next draft. Fear's holding me back a little bit. I'm also planning out my next play. I have the first quarter of 2015 spoken for with two projects. I need to slow my roll a bit and give myself a break.

I have so much more room in which to be so much nicer to myself. And more patient. Why is that so hard for me?

That's part of what I have to close out.

I have two full-length pilots I'm ready to show.
Plus a new screenplay.
I have two plays they can look at.

If someone wants to look at my comedy samples, I have two pilots. One single camera. And one multi-camera
I've got sketches.
I'm ready to go.

I've successfully fashioned myself into a new writer.
This new pilot is a darker take on what I do.
I'm ready to take that leap.
I'm ready to make that jump.

My new play is way dark.

I have a feeling that 2015 is going to be the year of the darkness.
I have to just dive in and stop being afraid of my dark side.
I have to go there.

I am so grateful for all of the writing I did this year.
It made me a better writer.
Five scripts will do that.

I just have to seal the deal with this last rewrite.

I am grateful for a wonderful productive year.
I am grateful for the new love I have for myself.
I am grateful for a patient and loving boyfriend.
I am grateful that I took a year to write.
I am grateful that I did what I wanted.
I am grateful that I have effectively redefined myself as a writer and as a person.
I am grateful to see the changes in me take shape.