Next Level Stillness

I consider myself a productive person. Everyone in my life would hopefully tell you the same thing about me. I like to have things to do, to fill my time. My history tells me that being busy and productive means that I'm working hard. If I'm just kicking back, letting things kind of happen then I'm not putting the work and energy into my goal. I've done a lot of work over the past few years towards being more still. That has meant just living a quieter life. I started by just being quieter. I start my mornings in as much silence as possible. I meditate. I do all of the things that are supposed to make me calmer. I don't drink coffee any more. I try to regulate my sugar intake to make me less jittery. I'm still loud, that hasn't changed.

I realize that calmness is not the same as stillness. I can still have a fire and be still. I can still have focus and energy and be still. My friend Susan told me a few weeks ago a story about keeping my launch pad clear. That metaphor has really spoken to me. Today I realize how that image of keeping my launch pad clear is related to stillness. Clutter is visual noise. If I keep adding things to a clean launch pad, then my rocket still can't take off.

For me that is Next Level Stillness. De-cluttering my life. I did my cleanse last month and in the process of that physical cleanse came a spiritual one. I got rid of a partner that was cluttering up my launch pad. He didn't know it. I didn't know it. But when he was gone, I had a clearer perspective. I have more time to devote to my work: that will make me more desirable to an employer and to an opportunity. The playwriting class I'm teaching is only seven students this semester. That's all I need. The students who dropped out allowed me to focus more attention on the seven students I do have. It's all de-cluttering.

I have been practicing getting things done as a way of de-cluttering. There are some opportunities on the table and I am clearing my plate so that those opportunities have the chance to land and so I have the chance to take off. So yes, I have given myself this Year of Challenges and I filled the plate up. I also know that if something needs to be put on hold in order for something to land, then that's fine. It's all about flight patterns. Maybe something else needs to circle for a bit so that the opportunity I need can land. I'm only handling one thing at a time.

I have a play reading in April that I need to do a rewrite for. And it feels great to have things in the docket. But if I have to postpone that reading so that a job can so that a job can land, then I'm all for kicking the reading down the road a bit longer. I have a production that I want to happen this year. I need to make room for that as well.

I don't have to do everything at once. If I'm obsessed with teaching, then I'm not making time for other things. My approach to teaching this time around is to do the work I need to do and to place limits on my time and commitment. I used to think that meant I didn't care, that somehow doing five times the work that was being asked of me was somehow noble. In reality, sometimes if I'm done done with that job, then I can't invite another opportunity. I have an opportunity coming up that I intend on making room for. And it's an opportunity that's easily manageable with my teaching schedule without compromising anything. But I can't do that and teaching (two jobs that pay) and finish the play and finish the outline. Something will get compromised. So it's fine that if the thing that gets compromised is the play or the outline. But if I get the play and the outline finished or near completion so that I can finish it and then be ready to start another gig, that's really where I want to be.

That's why I've been working so hard to get these other things off my plate. They are also opportunities that can lead somewhere that I want to take advantage of. I'm working towards paying jobs this year, so the things that can most quickly and directly lead to that are where my focus is right now. I feel so good about the ideas happening around the play and the pilot. I feel good about the skill that I'm building as an idea generator as well, which is the skill I'll need the most in taking on a writing gig. I've got the productivity down. I've got the writing down. And now I have the idea generating down. These are all skills that I'm building on. I'm putting the energy out there that's alerting the Universe that I want these opportunities by preparing for the job that I want.

It's this stillness that I've been building that has allowed me this focus. It starts from giving up caffeine five years ago and it leads directly and incrementally to starting a new job.

I am grateful for the ability to connect the dots.
I am grateful for the stillness and clarity I've been able to bring into my life.
I am grateful for deliberate and conscious thoughts and actions.
I am grateful for my friends who inspire the go-getter in me.
I am grateful for the grace to know what's my business and what is not my business.
I am grateful for the continual practice of decluttering.