Visions

My friend Susan always does visualizations. There was a time where I thought she was crazy. But there is something to visualizing something for yourself and then bringing it to fruition. With all of this unlimited thinking and letting the Universe dream a bigger dream than you can dream for yourself, how to visualize can be confusing. What if I'm doing it wrong?

I feel the same way about meditation. It took me a full year to decide to meditate before I started doing it. It felt intimidating and like everything was banking on me doing it right. That was enough for me to not do it. But once I just committed to it, it was fine. I feel the same way about visualization. But for me, visualization is about paying attention to how I'm living my life. There might be things I do in one area of my life that are applicable to other areas of my life. So in that case, the visualization is paying attention to what I'm doing in these other aspects of my life.

I did a recent meditation about being a visionary. And in it, I was advised to let it rip in terms of explaining the vision I have for myself. What I loved about the meditation was that community was a part of that vision. Five or six years ago, I had no community in LA. I had no circle of other playwright friends who inspired me. Now, I am at the center of a community.

I was talking to my friend Cory earlier today about a group that everyone wants to get into run by a big theatre in town. I've had conversations with countless friends over the years about why they're not in that group. I've asked myself that question as well. But then I started taking not being included as a badge of honor. I'm not a celebrity playwright - is there any such thing? I've got plenty of playwright friends who are celebrities and I love them. But that's luck as well as talent. I've created something with Chalk Rep, my theatre company, that I feel is really beautiful. We've got a group of writers and actors who come together to create some really cool work. It's a curated group, but it's a group that works because the people in it are open hearted and really care about each other.

I decided to stop being excluded and to start including people in my group. The other group is incredibly exclusionary and it works on its own terms. But it doesn't matter to me how it's run because I don't run it. I run MY group. And if someone told me how to run it, I'd probably kick them in the balls. So I respect the fact that the other group is uncompromising in its approach. But their style just isn't my style. The point is that I created me own thing that is now being shaped by my vision for it. The group existed before me and I didn't take it over right away. But now that I have the reigns, I have some ideas.

What started it all for me was the Playwrights Union, which is a collective of 30 LA-based playwrights who do writing challenges and have events. It's an incredible social group of other writers. I met some of my close friends in that group and it really helped me out at a time when I needed community. I am going from active status to alumni status with the group. I now feel like I have enough community that another playwright who needs community needs to take that spot. I've got my writers group, plus my gay Latino writers collective and I'm also a member of the WGA and that's a huge community. I have all of these networks of people and it's about creating larger networks of support.

So when I have this vision of the things I want to do or what I want to have in my life, I'm already there. I've got groups I'm a part of and groups I'm curating. My taste is being represented in the groups I participate in. I get together with my close pals and we share work with each other. So I can visualize just by living my life, knowing that what I have I want more of and on a larger scale. I'm living the life I want to be living. And now it's about living more of it.

My intention is to grow.
My intention is to relax.
My intention is to be present.

I am grateful for time away.
I am grateful for ice cream.
I am grateful for a quiet house.