Push It

I had to give up the third teaching job because it was going to be too hard on the students to have me be out for the first five weeks of the term. I get that. But I wanted to make it work. Here's the good news: the school still wants me. They like me and they were incredibly impressed. I went into the interview knowing there was a possibility that our show was coming back soon. But I went in there and made a positive impression. I pushed it. But if I hadn't, I would have not even applied for the job because there was no possibility. They wouldn't have gotten to know me. And then I wouldn't be the writer who couldn't take the job because he had an actual writing gig. That makes me more attractive to them - and it keeps that possibility alive.

Still waiting to hear from my other teaching gig to see if there's something we're going to be able to make work. I'm going to let that work itself out.

Throughout this whole process, I've been hesitant in thinking that I could take all of this on. All of my friends said to go for it. They said to "push it." So I did. And I'm glad I have, even if I'm not about to do EVERYTHING (It would be great to). But that means there are other opportunities down the road that I need to be free for. I absolutely believe that.

My manager has been negotiating my new deal for the show. He's pushing it. Because that's what we should be doing. I'm worth it. This show has catapulted me into a position where I can jump on a cable or broadcast show at a higher level, surpassing the dreaded cycle of the diversity writer having to be a staff writer over and over again. It's a problem that's unique to those of us who count as "diverse." My manager said in an email that he doesn't push for a bump in position unless he's certain that writer can over deliver. That's my middle name. I'm all about over delivering. I love to work. I love to push it. 

If you're not pushing, you're not growing. It's about not settling for what people say they can get you or for what they think you're worth. You have to know your worth. And that's what it comes down to. WORTH. All of this is an exercise in making sure I know what my worth is. It's a great exercise. I spent so much time undervaluing myself. I'm not doing that any more. So I've got a manager that's fighting to get me what I deserve. And he isn't going to get everything, but he's getting a lot. And that will parlay itself into further opportunities. That's the plan. 

My intention is expansion.

My intention is self worth.

My intention is deep understanding of myself.

My intention is value.

My intention is self love.

I am grateful for people working on my behalf.

I am grateful to know how to direct those people.

I am grateful for my upcoming break.

I am grateful for deep, caring friendships.

I am grateful for honesty.