Being Creative is a Full Time Job

Fuckin' A.

I'm doing some freelancing for an old boss of mine this week.  And probably next week too.  And I have to say, it is hard doing creative work when you're working.  Even if you're working part time for good money.  But I have to remind myself that this is all for a great reason.  I am affording myself time to write.

I'm applying to a bunch of different fellowships and I have to be able to afford to do them!  You don't have to pay to do them, but I need to make sure that my schedule is free enough to participate.  That means that I have to earn some dough.

I remember about eleven years ago I had just moved to town and I got a job working at ICM as a temp. ICM is a big talent agency in town.  I worked for this guy who has gone onto become a partner somewhere at another talent agency, I think.  But this guy was a dick.  An absolute small-dicked, sorry excuse for a human being who yelled at me and wanted to be waited on hand and foot within the first half a day I worked for him.  I got on the phone with a good friend at lunch time.  I probably called about five people hoping someone would pick up.  This friend picked up and I told her, "You have to remind me that I need the money."  She did.  I went back in and I worked for him for the rest of the week.  Apparently, someone had heard that I was doing a good job and offered me a job.  I politely refused.  I didn't want to be shamed again.  It was dehumanizing and for such a dumb purpose.

So this new situation is not that.  But I do have to remind myself that I need the money.  And this time I am making great money for very little use of my time, relatively.  So I shouldn't complain.  And I'm not complaining.  But I am surprised that even that little bit of time is making it hard for me to write.  Not that this is my only excuse. I had a very good February and March when it came to writing.  Two first drafts of scripts in two months.  One was a play at 118 pages.  And one was a pilot at 60 pages.  Again, I shouldn't complain.  My brain needs to refuel.  I need to get inspired.  I need to fill up the creative tank.  And I have been doing that.  I also taught.  I have also been brain storming and I have also been working.

I am not being lazy.

So why do I feel like I'm being lazy or not accomplishing everything I want to accomplish.

I have such a hard time at giving myself a break.  And I need to stop it.  It is counter productive.

Being creative is a full time job.  And it's a full time job I currently have.  And excel at.  I could say that I'm taking a vacation and I'm making money while on vacation.  Or I could say that it all contributes.  My making money contributes to my ability to write full time.  My experiences help shape me and appreciate my freedom.  I didn't have this sort of freedom when I worked for this guy full time.  My experiences working for him have allowed me to charge what I'm charging for my consulting services.  I can't be anything other than grateful.  It's money when I needed it.  And it's a source of income that could keep on coming.  And once I get back into a rhythm, it's a job I can do without much effort.  That's the best kind of day job if you have to take a day job.

But I have to remind myself. This is not my full time job.  That's why I'm only doing it part time.  My full time job is to write.  And I've had a productive first quarter.  The second quarter looks to be just as productive, if not more.

It will include:

• a second draft of the play
• more drafts of the pilot
• a submission to a prestigious TV writing lab
• submissions to important writing fellowship at ABC, Warner Bros and NBC.
• a completed spec of HOUSE OF CARDS to submit to the above-mentioned fellowships.

And possibly…

• a phone interview for a teaching job
• an in-person interview for said teaching job
• and the teaching job!

Then I'll have to deal with what the third and fourth quarters of the year will be like.  But for right now, that is enough.

My full time job is keeping me very busy.

I am grateful that being creative is my full time job.

I am grateful that I will be seeing a ton of old friends this weekend at a play festival I go to every year.

I am grateful that I have time to do what I love.

I am grateful that I am investing in the work that I love.

I am grateful that I know enough things to prove useful and to charge a premium for.

I am grateful that more and more things continue to come my way.