Friends and Fans

My creative friendships are some of the best in the world, as I've chatted about recently on the blog. I'm in love with a creative person. My best friend in the world is a creative person. And the folks I surround myself with most of the time are creative people. And that's because I need people in my life who speak my language!

My friends are also non-judgmental. I mean, we can all get a little competitive from time to time, but as I've gotten older I realize that the quality of someone's work is no business of mine. I used to tell myself all of the time that I was "just helping" or that "I only want it to be better" whenever I would have some harsh criticism of another writer's work. But I was just being competitive. I can admit that now. And I'd like to issue a too little too late apology to some of my graduate school classmates. I was kind of a cranky dude in grad school. But that's because I was at my most insecure. I felt like if I put someone down then it would lift me up.

Shit don't work that way.

But I was young (I guess). Mostly though I just felt like everyone was so much smarter than me and more accomplished. I had to pump myself up in order to feel like I deserved to be there. I ran with a posse of great, well-intentioned people and we cut people to the bone. We felt superior. Or at least, I did. But that's because most of the time I was quaking in my boots.

I've learned since then that being a supportive friend is about being kind. I've had enough tough love in my life and in my profession that I just want my friends to be fans. It doesn't mean they can't be constructive or point out areas in my work that are unclear. But I want friends in my life who genuinely like what I do and are there to support me in fulfilling the vision of my work.

And I have that. I have smart, talented people in my life who work hard with their own work and don't just rest on their laurels. It's hard work, more than natural talent that inspires me to work hard. I have friends who push me by their example, not by their words of criticism.

I'm getting better at having people in my life who are fully supportive and work their asses off. I'm continually impressed by how much my friends push themselves. It keeps me on my toes. I'm incredibly lucky to have that sort of motivation in my life.

Now I know that I don't have to tear someone down to pull myself up. Or, more importantly, I don't have to tear myself down to motivate myself. Once I found compassion for myself, it made it much easier to have it for other people.

I am grateful for the love in my life.
I am grateful for the opportunity to unplug and tune out the noise.
I am grateful for being older and wiser.
I am grateful for unconditional support.
I am grateful for ideas that keep me afloat.