So Emotional

Writers make me emotional because I know how hard it is to create something out of the ether
or to put your heart on the page.
And even if you don't really put your heart on the page, just the sheer amount of time and work it takes to bang out a story,
format it,
think about it,
make up character names,
and click away at the keys
is a feat.
I used to be so judgmental at so called "hacks" and now I realize that it's work for everyone.
That was about being young and feeling like putting down someone else's writing made me
advance up the food chain.
I've learned a lot since then.

This past weekend, I heard new plays-in-progress by twelve other amazing playwrights at the Playwrights Union annual reading marathon to celebrate the end of our February Writing Challenge. This is the set up for our Annual First Look Reading Festival. This was the first year that so many writers signed up for the Challenge, with about 17 signing up to do it and 4 having to drop out. But it's amazing that all of us found time over the past month to write something new. So even if some of us had thirty pages and others got to the end of a play, it ignited something in us. It challenged us to get off our asses and stop making excuses. For me, I knew that I had a group of people behind me with support but also lighting a fire underneath me.

Every writer had something that touched me deeply. It's a play in a month, so there's no room to be critical. You see where something is going and you respond to what you like and want more of. That's it. It's about figuring it out, so the structure might not be locked in yet or the characters might not be totally clear. A few people had pieces that felt very locked down. And there were those of us who were still exploring and figuring it out.

I always use the opportunity to make me better. Yes, I had a goal in mind to get as much written as I could. My first year I brought in 55 pages, last year I brought in 119, and this year I brought in about 117. But it's not about page count. I have a pilot I've been working on and got stuck on. I knew this subject matter would loosen me up. It would make me go to dark places and it would open me up so that I could write a pilot that feels freewheeling and fun. The pilot is a juicy soap and I was over thinking it. So that's this week's project, after another reading of the same script (now 134 pages) for another theatre in town.

Here's the point - not me talking about me. The point is that I listened to these 12 plays and some hit a deeply personal place. There was the play about the woman who's trying to overcome her past. And that woman's me. There was the play about gentrification and the play about a teacher with a secret. I was inspired by the conversations that were happening. I was inspired by the food. I was inspired by the laughter and the hugs that were going around. I was just inspired by how good these writers are and how regardless of how much time they have to work on something, they're going to bring something to the table.

Yes, I just made a comment earlier about "hacks" and not being judgmental. That stands. But I have been with people who want to write, but don't put in the work. They don't read, they don't go see plays and films, they don't know their business. That is hard for me to stomach. Amateurs, I suppose is the polite term. And all of these writers are pros. They are smart and passionate. Those people are easy for me to be around. And they make me wake up thinking about their work and inspire me to send emails telling them to keep going. The world needs more passion and less cynicism and more art.

That's what fuels the fire. That's what puts gas in the engine so I can write as much as I do and as passionately as I do. It's all thanks to them.

I am grateful for my reading tomorrow.
I am grateful that a theatre is behind this new play.
I am grateful that I have friends who encourage me and inspire me to be better.
I am grateful for grazing on snacks all weekend.
I am grateful for random hugs.
I am grateful that my friends get me and don't try to change me.