No Nos

I feel like I'm in a bit of a holding pattern here. Not like the holding patterns I've been in before where there's nothing on the horizon. I'm thankful for that. I'm teaching and that's keeping me very busy - I'm prepping lectures for the next two weeks on TV writing and script analysis. But I'm waiting to hear back from my manager about the two scripts I sent him. I'm waiting to have a company meeting with our theatre company to see if the company's interested in producing the new play. I'm waiting to find out if I'm coming back for the next season of our show and if I'm developing anything new with our production company.

Lots of waiting. But so far I haven't gotten a "no."

And that's important. Sometimes something feels like rejection that's not rejection. It takes time to make decisions. It takes time to read. It takes time to comment. It takes time to figure out a solution. It takes time to decide. But from the perspective of the person waiting for an answer, it's a NO. And we treat ourselves as if we have been rejected and then maybe it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It never feels good to be in this waiting position. And as a writer, I put myself in that position ALL OF THE TIME. It's submission season in the theatre - the time when playwrights send their newest plays to theatre festivals around the country hoping for a slot in their summer play development festivals. I might have mentioned this before, but I have a friend who approaches this time of year from a seemingly pro-active perspective. This friend says that they're "collecting rejections." What this friend means is that they are putting themselves out there as much as possible and that the law of averages means that they'll get rejected more than accepted. But that you've got to wade through the rejections to get to the acceptances. And this all sounds incredibly reasonable. That approach doesn't work for me. I'm not going to focus on something that is a part of the process. That doesn't mean I'm unrealistic and think that every thing I put out there is going to be met with praise and love. My approach is that I send something off and I forget about it. Then when I get a notice in the mail or via email with an answer, that's when I remember that I sent something out and I can tick it off my list.

I try really hard to focus on what's in front of me and what I'm gaining not what I'm potentially losing. I could focus on the NOs or maybe soon-to-be NOs. Or I can focus on what I'm gaining. I previously mentioned all of the things that are "up in the air." There's nothing I can do about any of that. So I have to focus back on what I'm doing right now, which is teaching. Like I mentioned, for the next two classes, we will be focusing on the craftsmanship of TV writing. Originally, I was going to spend one week on this and then go back to a discussion of screenplays. But I realized that since my class is about writing TV and Film - and we spent two weeks discussing one film and dissecting the screenplay - I need to spend equal time on TV stuff. And there's a lot more to discuss about the business of TV writing and the various structures than there is with film. So we have a lot to cram into two lectures. I have to explain to my students how the business works - with producers, executives, showrunners putting ideas together. I have to explain the development calendar because that matters in terms of how shows and ideas are developed. I have to explain content and distribution streams - because that also influences how shows are being made and what shows are being made. I have to explain the difference between a single cam and multi cam comedy. I have to explain the difference between premium cable, basic cable, broadcast and streaming because all of those affect structure and content. Then we need to talk about the show we're discussing this week, which is Master of None - in its entirety. Then we'll look at four shows the following week - Nashville, Homeland, Roseanne and Transparent - to look at structure from these various perspectives - a one hour network soap, a one hour cable drama, a classic half-hour multi camera comedy, and a half hour single camera streaming "comedy." I'm going to have to break down everything in terms of its structure for them - in lecture and on paper.

I could look at all of this as a distraction - something to bide my time until I find out about all of these things I'm waiting to find out about - all of these things that feel like they define my future, whether immediate or long term. But here's how I choose to look at everything I need to do to prepare for the next two weeks - it's reinforcement. It's an opportunity to remind myself how to write a TV pilot. I am rewriting a pilot right now that really feels like a cable or a streaming show. It has no act breaks. It feels like a fantasy - it will play around with structure in certain ways. But to go back and have my own crash course/ reminder of how the game is played will improve my game.

Five years ago, when I went to teach for the first time, I asked my then very new boyfriend - who also teaches music as well as plays it - what he thought about me teaching. He told me that it would reinforce what I already know. He said that it would make me a better writer. And looking back at the five years that have transpired and the play I have just finished writing - he was right. If I look at the play I wrote last year, he was right. If I look at the pilots I have been writing in that time, he's right. Everything I have done funnels back.

Because I have been working on staff and producing episodes, I am able to teach from that experience. Because I teach what I have learned, I reinforce those lessons and become better.
Because I know from first-hand experience what it takes to go from the page to the stage or screen, I write from that place and it all gets better.

So I have no NOs and I might feel like I am waiting. But the truth of this is that there ARE no NOs. Every experience is an opportunity to learn and grow. If you focus on what you have, versus what you might want, then everything is a YES. Everything is a POSITIVE step forward. Everything compels you to grow and learn and share. And those are all MAJOR GAINS. I am being paid to teach myself what I already know and to reinforce those lessons. I am being paid to learn at every turn, so that's not a rejection and it's not stagnation. It's all FORWARD MOVEMENT.

My intention is to parlay all opportunities into forward movement. 
My intention is to continue to make major gains in my life.
My intention is to keep going and keep doing.

I am grateful that everything I do helps everything else I do.
I am grateful that my attitude makes all the difference.
I am grateful for every opportunity.