It's Not Enough...

"It's not enough to know what you want.  You have to do what you want to be what you want."

Resistance is kicking my ass right now.
It is making me tired.
It is making me doubt myself.
It is making excuses.

Yes, I have written four scripts this year and I am on my way to number five.
But that's not enough. I know I can do more.
And it's a myth that this was one productive year
and that's an anomaly.
This is the standard.
Five or six scripts a year.

This is how resistance is kicking my ass.
I am getting ready to write a new pilot next month.

"Who wants to see a pilot about this?"
"I can't figure it out."
"It's too hard."
"Maybe I should write about something else."
"Isn't this a form of what I always write about?"

That's what was going on in my mind today.
I stayed at the office for four hours today.
Sometimes it's just not your day. True.
I went in for four hours. True.
I sat there in my space and that's enough. True.

And it's okay for me to step out and write another script.
Yes, I have been productive.
And yes I'm standing out because of that.
But I have another script in me this year.
Then I can work on rewrites in November and December.
And gear up for 2015.

I know I am a writer.
I am writing.
I am a writer.

I have confidence in this idea.
I know what I need to do to figure out the idea.
I am specific about what this idea is.
There's no reason not to do it.
I am perfecting my skills by giving my friends notes on their scripts.
I am proving how capable I am every second of the day.

I am humbled by the work that I have done this year.
And I cannot wait to do more.

I am grateful for this moment of Zen.
I am grateful to be so articulate about my work.
I am grateful that I can be of service to my friends.
I am grateful that the ideas are there.