The Pause Button

I'm terrible at taking breaks. I'm working at it.

My friend Dominic and I were talking last weekend about how we're both shitty at having some time off. I remember he was a bit panicked about time off about six months ago. And then he got a temp gig that turned into a longer temp gig and now he's going back to work on that project before going back to season two of the show he moved out to LA for. I've been enjoying time with Dominic and talking about how we're managing these early times in our television careers as people who have been working to get here for awhile. He gives me hope that being a journeyman writer is possible.

Being productive is ideal. But you've got to recharge the batteries at some point. I'm really bad at it. Today, I watched all of the Gilmore Girls revival. I've been watching this PBS documentary series called Soundbreaking. I've watched most of the eight episodes. I put my feet up. I had one email to send to a student regarding a project. But I didn't have any work looming over my head - or I chose not to. I chose not to freak out about the pilot rewrite or the new play I started or the new play I want to start. I chose not to freak out about prepping some pitches for a meeting at the end of next week.

I sat down. I turned on Netflix. I watched TV. I ate and wore comfortable clothing. My afternoon was a Gilmore Girls episode. I enjoyed every minute of it, even though it wasn't perfect. I did dishes and made food. I cleared the refrigerator. I ate my Thanksgiving leftovers. I'm getting ready for tomorrow's grocery shopping. I've let my body go a bit. I've been going to Korean spas not realizing that I really just needed a day like today to chill the fuck out.

Today was the only day I had nothing on the schedule. I could have gone to a play tonight. I decided not to. I'm going to miss the run of that play. I don't care. My social calendar has been busy for the past six weeks at least. I know that this coming week is going to be busy. I know that I'm finishing up the semester. And I know that I'm going to try and go to Vegas for a week to get some writing done. That's going to be my gift to myself before I take off to Portland for the holiday. I'm also being told that work is going to start on my show right after the holiday. So the lesson there is to enjoy my time now. I'll be going back to work soon. And I'll be exhausted. And that will also be great.

I learned a little while ago that the best approach to life is to enjoy what you have in that moment. When I have work, I enjoy work. When I have time off, I enjoy time off. When I have money, I enjoy money. When I have time, I enjoy time. I use the resources at hand to the best of my ability and to the fullest extent I possibly can. So right now, I have free time. I need to enjoy it.

My intention is relaxation.
My intention is to breathe.
My intention is to be still.

I am grateful for my life.
I am grateful to do the things I want to do.
I am grateful to know what those things are.