How I Feel About Myself

When I did my tarot cards a few weeks ago, the Shaman of Wands appeared in the area of How I Feel About Myself.  This card was inverted.

I see myself as a Self-Starter.
Entrepreneur.
Uses Full Potential.
Relentless Drive and Energy.

I am well on my way to the path of spirituality.
Joy and Plenty can be spiritual experiences as much as denial and austerity can be.
Relax a little and maybe the spiritual growth will happen faster.
I don't have to deny myself to get deeper spiritually.

In all of the ways I see myself, I am not acting on them.  I am not acting as a self starter, an entrepreneur, someone who uses their full potential or someone with relentless drive and energy.  Or I wasn't when this reading was done.

I am choosing Systems over Goals - ways of doing things every day.
I have reached out to people for work.
I am writing every day.
I have drive and energy, but I am taking time to rest and be quiet as well.  I really feel driven towards that right now.

I'm reading How to Practice by the Dalai Lama and I'm falling asleep.  I'm putting my feet up.  I'm spending a lot of time in silence.  I'm relaxing.

That does seem antithetical to being a self starter or having relentless energy.  But I feel like my internal energy needs some attention.  My inner spirit.  I am just focused on listening and less on doing.  Change happens in small ways just by being present.

That' is a new approach for me.  But one I'm willing to try.

I know those things are true about myself and I want other people to see them as well.  I want my internal and external energies to reflect each other.

I am grateful for this time to relax.
I am grateful that the library had the Dalai Lama's book for me to check out immediately.
I am grateful for continued health.