"I was lost
And now I'm free
Because I believe
in you and me."
That's the conversation I have with myself every time I start something new.
I don't always recognize it.
I think the stomach aches are because of something I ate.
I think the moodiness is because I didn't get enough sleep.
Or because I'm in a general bad mood.
But what really happens to me is that I get fearful and worried that I don't know how to do it all again when I start something new.
And I just started something new.
I've mentioned before that I have this play cycle based on the Seven Deadly sins that I'm writing. I have written one of the plays, OPEN. And now I have two more plays that I'm actively working on in the cycle. The second (but really the third) play is the one I just started called PREACH. I have had the outline ready for several months now. The outline changed a few days ago when I actually sat down to start writing it. Of course. I had the structure I wanted. The play takes place backwards. But the events of the play ended up changing.
The second play (but the third I'll be writing) is the advertising play I've written about before called I WANT IT. It's the harder of the two to write, so I'm putting it off until I get some more research done. It's also (as of right now) the play that is more about a pervasive thought and attitude than it is about characters. So I know I'm not ready to write it yet. It still exists as a concept in my head and hasn't yet come down to earth.
Not every playwright is like this (which is why I don't like every play), but I have to have people to write about. I can't have ideas solely. It's not good. It's not interesting to me. And if I start writing if I'm only in what I consider a preliminary state, I'm not helping myself. I WANT IT is a big play. It's a big idea. It has no plot to speak of. I'm handling it in a very Altman-esque way. The fun part about working on that play (which I've documented a bit here) is the research and delving into his mind a bit. Altman is as much a subject of the play in an indirect way as his approach is a model for me in working on this play. I've never written a play where the research period has been this extensive. Usually I start writing and put something away. This time, I'm only doing research and I then have to take time to let the subconscious do its job.
But more on that as I really dig into it deeper.
I just started PREACH and I'm about eleven pages in. A friend of mine recently wrote a series of recommendation letters for me for a few teaching jobs I'm applying for. Something she said about my writing really struck me. She said that I'm really trying to expand the possibility of dramatic structure. I hadn't thought about that. But in the two plays that she had read, that was definitely true. And it's only made me focus on that more in the next two plays I'm writing.
But as I thought about it, I guess it is what I've always done. It goes back to my first playwriting professor, Erik, who always said that
form follows function
I always loved that because it sounded to me like something a fashion designer would say and I have been obsessed with fashion since I was a kid.
But it's a fundamental place I write from when I'm working on a new play. And the challenge of writing this play back to front is cool to me. It's making me consider different things in how I lay out story, plot and character.
Actually, that would be a great writing exercise. Write a three scene short play where three specific things happen in each scene. Each thing that happens has to escalate in terms of importance and urgency. In other words, you need to raise the stakes. You need to have a definite beginning, middle and end. But even in your middle scene, something important has to happen. It's not just set up, action and resolution. Each scene must have all three of those things in them and all three scenes need to relate to each other. They need to tell the same story with the same characters.
Follow up: Now reverse the action of those three scenes. Start at the end and go backwards. Instead of 1-2-3. 3-2-1. Now rewrite the play knowing that you're starting at the end.
Anyhoo…that's just the geek in me. In writing the scenes of the play, I realize how different it is to write backwards. It informs every decision I make and it's actually making me much more conscious. It's kind of like checking for typos. A method for checking for typos is to read backwards. If you're just reading forwards for typos, your mind tends to fill in the blanks and you miss some things. But if you go backwards, it's not the natural way of putting a story together, so you're just looking at the words. I feel like I'm much more conscious of the wheels turning in working backwards. I have to be more clever about exposition and I have to be keenly aware of the character's motives in writing backwards. It's really interesting. And I feel like it will have an effect on how I write from this point forward. A play hasn't made me conscious of how it will make me a better writer in a long time. But I think that's what happens when you're looking at how something is structured.
But to my earlier point. It's hard to start again. You forget how to do it. You worry that you won't do it right. You worry about forgetting.
But this time I've just given myself an easy challenge to get over that. Write in a way you haven't written before. That'll do it.
I am grateful for having my three next play ideas.
I am grateful for work.
I am grateful that I am taking the time I need.
I am grateful that I am appreciating who I am, where I have been and what I have done.
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