Retreating

A couple of months ago my friend Susan (who I seem to get a lot of my good ideas from) said that she was going on a cruise to Ensenada to get some work done: a DIY writer's retreat.

What?

She was going to get on a cruise ship for four days and lock herself in her state room and write and write and write.  It sounded weird, but kind of like a good idea.  She was leaving out of Long Beach and she had a pilot to work on.

Well, let me know how it goes when you're back.

She came back from the cruise and said she got a lot of work done.  She had gone down to Ensenada, with a stop in Catalina.  No phones.  No distractions.  Food included.  Drinks if you wanted them, but that wasn't free.  $260 all inclusive.

Well, when I get some money, I might do that.

I have some money.  I'm going to do it.  I haven't booked it yet because, as Susan told me, the longer you wait, the better the deals get.  And I actually have time to wait.  I'm also getting my car fixed today, so I wanted to wait to see how much that was going to cost before I did anything.  Although, I'll probably do it anyway because it's such a deal.  I leave out of Long Beach at 5 PM on Monday and I get back at 8 AM on Friday.  We stop in Catalina and are there for the day on Tuesday, then Ensenada on Wednesday and then en route back on Thursday.

I have a deadline of May 15th to turn in my pilot for the Sundance Episodic Story Lab, which I know will be incredibly competitive and to which I want to send my pilot in for.  I also have a new play reading on May 18th and I have a deadline of May 31st to get my House of Cards done for the writing fellowships I'm applying to this year.  So May is going to be a heavy month of writing for me.  That's good because I have been just working most of April.  I'm ready to get back into the writing of it all.

This week is about preparation.  I need to have a plan/outlines for the pilot, the play and the spec.  The spec needs to be outlined.  I know what needs to happen with the pilot.  And also with the play because I got notes on the draft I wrote two months ago.  I wrote for about six weeks straight in February and March, so taking another six weeks to work and get other business in order is just maintaining the balance of my life.  I would like to be writing non-stop 24/7, but that's just not physically possible.

But what I have done to get myself prepared for this cruise and my writing month is to keep my office hours for writing.  I have been working a freelance gig for the past three weeks or so.  So I have been trying to go to the Korean Spa, which is where I like to do my writing when I have the admission fee and when I have to go somewhere that acts like an office.  Yes, this is an office where I am naked.  But if I stay at home, then I get distracted by all of the Netflix I should be watching.  It haunts me.

And I would go to the Weho library, which I love.  But by the time I get down there, I have to deal with traffic on the way home.  And I can only be there for three hours at a time without paying for parking.  At least at the Korean Spa I go to, I can stay as long as I want to.  Yesterday, I was there from  3:30 PM to 1:30 AM.  Today, I am getting my car worked on.  So I decided I would walk down to another Korean Spa I like where I know I can get work done.  My car will be getting worked on for at least four hours.  It was the perfect excuse to come here and lock myself in and prep for this four day writing intensive retreat.

Here's what I need to prep:

• Pilot: I need to do a full rewrite, so I need to make sure all of my information on the reinvention of my main character is intact.  I think I have the story of the pilot.  I like the way the pilot opens and the story and characters seem exciting.  I want to actually try and get a full rewrite done before I leave, so I can concentrate on another rewrite when I'm gone.
• Play: I have to strip away what I have.  I have 118 pages and about 30-plus pages of it are monologues.  I'm trimming that back.  I have a list of things I want to have happen in the first act.  I want to get a plan down for the second act so I can just write while I'm at sea.  I would like to get at least the first act done while I'm gone.  Then I can write the second act when I come back.
• Spec: I have a spec House of Cards I need to write!  I have the idea.  So I want to get an outline down and I need to rewatch parts of Season Two.  I would like to write as much of it as I can while I'm on the cruise.  Then I need to put it down and pick it up again on May 19th and write my ass off for 12 days.  It's due on May 31st.

Then when I get back on the 9th, I need to focus almost exclusively on the pilot and the play.  Sundance deadline is May 15th, so then I have to do rehearsals for the play and put up the reading on May 18th.  I'm crazy for thinking I can get all of this done.  But I want to push myself.  And after the 18th, I can turn my attention all the way to this House of Cards spec.  Then I'm off to Santa Clara on May 29th and need to be mostly done by then.  

May is going to be cray cray.  But I love it.  I love that kind of busy.  I might try to pick up some work starting on the 19th so I can have some more money coming in.  I might be going to SF to produce a movie with my best friend in June, which might be a nice change of pace.  Although there won't be any money coming in, but hopefully I won't have to pay for much while I'm gone.  And it will help me rejuvenate.  Then Portland in July.  I'm most likely just going for a week.  The Summer is an expensive time to be there.  Between the flight and the car rental, it's tough. I'm thinking that the next writers retreat I do out of town should be there.  Or Sonoma.  That would be good too.

I have a plan!  Thank goodness!

And I have to set aside some money for a "journey" I'm planing on doing some time in the next few months.  But more on that later.  That's a different kind of trip.  But also artistically inspiring.  At least it was the last time I did it.

I am grateful for time.

I am grateful for money.

I am grateful that I can put the two of those together and really utilize opportunities.

I am grateful for the energy that money creates in order to focus on an action and an intention for what I want out of this period in my life.

I am grateful for peaceful space that I am creating in my life.

I am grateful that I don't just stop and wait for the peaceful space to present itself.

I am grateful for words.

I am grateful for my ability to ride the wave.

The Art of Being

I'm trying out the title for something I'm working on.

But it also feels like something I'm trying to perfect.  The Art of Being in my life: making money, having a relationship, and living a fulfilling creative life.  I'm trying to find a good workout practice, a good yoga practice and a good meditation practice.  I'm also trying to figure out my writing schedule now that I'm putting in 20+ hours a week at a freelance gig I have.

There is a skill to all of this.  An art in all of it.  Tomorrow I head to a theatre festival I've been going to probably for the past ten years.  Going to have a big reunion of sorts with a bunch of friends I used to see at this other theatre festival in Louisville, KY.  Some people I haven't seen in years.  It actually feels like the past few weeks and the next few weeks will be a big reunion.  I am seeing my friend Rachel on Mother's Day who I haven't seen in almost ten years.  I saw my friend Kimberly in Portland.  I am seeing these friends this weekend.  I'm not sure what the universe is trying to tell me about all of this.  I am working for my old boss right now doing some consulting.  There's something in my past that I need to revisit before I can move forward, I guess.

It's all a part of The Art of Being.

I like that title.  It's good for this script I'm writing right now.  Apparently, it's also a book.  The two aren't related.

It's a beautiful day in West Hollywood, CA.  I'm writing at my favorite library.  I just deposited a check for last week's work that was a good chunk of money.  I just turned an invoice in for more $.  I am thinking about going on a cruise to Mexico to get some writing done.  I'm trying to maintain this balance of making money and doing what I love to do.  I need to make sure I'm writing so I can write TV pilots and plays that will get my work produced.  That is the primary focus.  And the Universe has been conspiring to help make that happen.

I am living the life I want to be living.  And I need to continue living that life.  I am doing what is necessary to make sure I can live that life continually.

I am grateful for income.
I am grateful for peace of mind.
I am grateful for work.
I am grateful for sunny days.
I am grateful for old friends.
I am grateful for new opportunities.
I am grateful for music that inspires me.
I am grateful for art.
I am grateful for ideas.
I am grateful for fun.
I am grateful for joy.
I am grateful for this Justin Timberlake song that I'm grooving to.
I am grateful for long lists of being grateful.

Being Creative is a Full Time Job

Fuckin' A.

I'm doing some freelancing for an old boss of mine this week.  And probably next week too.  And I have to say, it is hard doing creative work when you're working.  Even if you're working part time for good money.  But I have to remind myself that this is all for a great reason.  I am affording myself time to write.

I'm applying to a bunch of different fellowships and I have to be able to afford to do them!  You don't have to pay to do them, but I need to make sure that my schedule is free enough to participate.  That means that I have to earn some dough.

I remember about eleven years ago I had just moved to town and I got a job working at ICM as a temp. ICM is a big talent agency in town.  I worked for this guy who has gone onto become a partner somewhere at another talent agency, I think.  But this guy was a dick.  An absolute small-dicked, sorry excuse for a human being who yelled at me and wanted to be waited on hand and foot within the first half a day I worked for him.  I got on the phone with a good friend at lunch time.  I probably called about five people hoping someone would pick up.  This friend picked up and I told her, "You have to remind me that I need the money."  She did.  I went back in and I worked for him for the rest of the week.  Apparently, someone had heard that I was doing a good job and offered me a job.  I politely refused.  I didn't want to be shamed again.  It was dehumanizing and for such a dumb purpose.

So this new situation is not that.  But I do have to remind myself that I need the money.  And this time I am making great money for very little use of my time, relatively.  So I shouldn't complain.  And I'm not complaining.  But I am surprised that even that little bit of time is making it hard for me to write.  Not that this is my only excuse. I had a very good February and March when it came to writing.  Two first drafts of scripts in two months.  One was a play at 118 pages.  And one was a pilot at 60 pages.  Again, I shouldn't complain.  My brain needs to refuel.  I need to get inspired.  I need to fill up the creative tank.  And I have been doing that.  I also taught.  I have also been brain storming and I have also been working.

I am not being lazy.

So why do I feel like I'm being lazy or not accomplishing everything I want to accomplish.

I have such a hard time at giving myself a break.  And I need to stop it.  It is counter productive.

Being creative is a full time job.  And it's a full time job I currently have.  And excel at.  I could say that I'm taking a vacation and I'm making money while on vacation.  Or I could say that it all contributes.  My making money contributes to my ability to write full time.  My experiences help shape me and appreciate my freedom.  I didn't have this sort of freedom when I worked for this guy full time.  My experiences working for him have allowed me to charge what I'm charging for my consulting services.  I can't be anything other than grateful.  It's money when I needed it.  And it's a source of income that could keep on coming.  And once I get back into a rhythm, it's a job I can do without much effort.  That's the best kind of day job if you have to take a day job.

But I have to remind myself. This is not my full time job.  That's why I'm only doing it part time.  My full time job is to write.  And I've had a productive first quarter.  The second quarter looks to be just as productive, if not more.

It will include:

• a second draft of the play
• more drafts of the pilot
• a submission to a prestigious TV writing lab
• submissions to important writing fellowship at ABC, Warner Bros and NBC.
• a completed spec of HOUSE OF CARDS to submit to the above-mentioned fellowships.

And possibly…

• a phone interview for a teaching job
• an in-person interview for said teaching job
• and the teaching job!

Then I'll have to deal with what the third and fourth quarters of the year will be like.  But for right now, that is enough.

My full time job is keeping me very busy.

I am grateful that being creative is my full time job.

I am grateful that I will be seeing a ton of old friends this weekend at a play festival I go to every year.

I am grateful that I have time to do what I love.

I am grateful that I am investing in the work that I love.

I am grateful that I know enough things to prove useful and to charge a premium for.

I am grateful that more and more things continue to come my way.

Creating Need

My friend Susan and I were having a conversation a few weeks ago when she got a monster tax bill.  She has been freelancing for the past several years and had a big year last year when she won a huge prize and got a lump sum check for it.  Her and her husband were stressing out about the bill.  A bunch of other things had happened that week.  His computer was damaged in the earthquake we had.  I think there were some other bills that came up.

As I listened to her talk about everything going on and she asked what the big Universal lesson was in all of this, I had a thought:

"Maybe this is about creating a need for you to have all the things that are about to happen for you.  Maybe the Universe is creating a reason for you to need more money.  Maybe it's about expanding your life, rather than restricting it."

Yes, that sounded all very guru like I'm sure.  But I did read somewhere that when we live in poverty, in a constant state of want, in a place where we're just trying to get by, that is all we will ever do.  But if we live in a place of aspiration.  Of having a constant flow of energy, where we need more money to do more things, then we have the opportunity to have more.  That does not mean blowing out your credit cards on shoes.  But it's about expanding your consciousness and your possibility around having things.  I guess some followers of The Secret would call it creating abundance.  That's one way to look at it, but I'm not just talking about praying for money or willing money to come to you for the sake of accumulating and having.  But it is about expanding conscious.  I'm paying off more of my student loans.  I'm taking care of certain bills.

I am creating need instead of ignoring the responsibilities I have.  Because when you act like you don't need money, you don't get it.  It's very empowering.  I guess most people would call that adulthood and maybe it took me a while to get there in a financial sense.

But it's that same trust in the universe when people buy a house and have kids.  They're  trusting that they'll be able to afford the things that those kids need.  So that's their way of creating a need so that the Universe takes care of them.

I remember a tarot reading almost a year ago where it said that I needed to see money as energy.  This is exactly what that reading was referring to.  Of course it's going to be fun to shop and do a make over.  But even in that, I am being careful about what I am spending and I am putting a look together to present an image of myself.  I want to project this new me out into the Universe so that new things happen and new opportunities come my way.  But I can't do that if I look like my old self.  I need to start pulling things together in new and exciting ways.

I am grateful for this trip to Portland for a new start.
I am grateful for the checks I've been cashing.
I am grateful for the checks I've been writing.
I am grateful that money continues to come my way.
I am grateful for the opportunity to make myself over.

Continuing Creativity

Great things happened over the first three months of the year.  I have been incredibly creative and productive and wrote two scripts.  Now I have to take that energy and let it continue.

I am going out of town next week to Portland to do a workshop with students there.  That should be a lot of fun and a great way to connect back to my love of teaching.

I'm hoping it will be pretty inspirational there.  The weather usually makes me reflective.  I'll wander around Powell's books for a while.  I'll eat well, that's for sure.  I'll have time with my niece and my nephews.  I'll have the chance to get a little healthy.  It will be good to be out of LA for a few days.

Sometimes I need that break from everything.  It helps me see things in greater perspective.

I'm hoping to get the next draft of this pilot I'm working on finished so I can concentrate on being there with the students and so I can spend the last two weeks of the month writing a House of Cards spec in anticipation for another deadline.

I've been writing a lot lately.  And I have to remind myself that writing a lot doesn't mean that the well has to run dry.  But if I need to pick up a book or watch a movie for distraction or inspiration, it's still a part of the process.

And I have a lot of writing to do this year.  I have a lot of ideas that I want to get out as much as I can.

I had the chance to do some freelancing the past few days and it has drained me.  Thankfully, I"m going to Portland to work with students up there and I hope that work will be invigorating.  I want to continue to be inspired.  I need it.

I am grateful for the chance to stop and access.
I am grateful for love.
I am grateful for a trip out of town to meet my new nephew.

Finding Time

I had a great run last month of writing.
I wrote my story bible in a week and my pilot in a week.
I have to turn those documents in next month, so it's good I'm pretty ahead of the game.
But then the rest of the month, I was reading and researching and being inspired, but it was harder to sit down to write.
I shouldn't be surprised.  But I have this unhealthy expectation of myself that I should be a total machine when it comes to writing.
I have to let go of that.
I'm doing a lot of other things.
I'm making money.
I'm reading and doing research.
I'm about to head to Portland to teach a three day workshop.
I can't believe that.  I'm really looking forward to it.
I ran into my friend Ron who has been writing on an HBO show for the past
seven months.
I am happy to have the rest of my day to just relax and do some writing.
I haven't been able to focus.
I have been incredibly productive these past three months, I need to remember that.
But it's hard.
I will have a lot of family time and just some mental time to drift off and get away.
I appreciate that.
I want to read when I'm in Portland.
And I would like to just chill out too.
Eat.
Sleep.
Play with the niece and nephews.
Just fun.
Bro time.
Hang with my friend Kimberly time.
Walk.
Look up.
Just be.

I'm looking forward to that most of all.

I am grateful for work.
I am grateful for money.
I am grateful for the opportunity to go to Portland and teach.
I am grateful for fun visits.