My Posse

Writers need other writers to talk to.
Yes, we can distract each other from doing the work.
But conversation is a big part of doing the work.

Again, I go back to my favorite, Fran Lebowitz, who in her documentary, Public Speaking, talks about the need for writers to get together and shoot the shit and procrastinate and waste time and commiserate.

And then get shit done, which might be a coda that Fran doesn't subscribe to, considering that she's famously been blocked for over 30 years.

But in my case, the socializing is a part of the work as well.  My boyfriend is a musician and musicians refer to this work/socialize phenomena as "the hang."  My boyfriend will have a group of guys over.  They'll bring some beer over, maybe some snacks.  Then smoke some weed and chill out.  They'll just talk about stuff.  And then, at some point, someone will suggest that they play something.  Or that they work out some ideas for a song.  Or just jam.  In The Hang, information is passed along, connections are being made, but it's not slick and obvious.  No one really asks for what they want directly, it's just The Hang.

I think there are things to be learned from The Hang.  It's mainly social, but also about passing on information.  I think with musicians the lines are a little less defined.  But the idea of being interested in the person and then they work coming from that is appealing to me.  I have some writers who have come into my life lately who I feel have upped the game for me in certain regards.

Well, there's my office mate and good friend Tim who I am sitting next to right now and I type and he types and we're getting something done, respectively.  I've known Tim for years, we met at a party in a big Southern mansion in Louisville, KY.  Then we kept in touch and when he eventually moved out to LA a few years ago, we became a support for one another.  But we didn't even see each other that often for a long time.  And now, one thing led to another, and we're office mates.  Tim's a talented writer/director who inspires me to be at it every day.

I have another friend named David who I met at another theatre festival years ago.  Then we would run into each other at different social gatherings.  But it wasn't until a couple of months ago that we really reconnected and kind of realized that we liked each other a lot.  Not that we were archenemies before, but there really wasn't that connection.  Now we have nicknames for each other and we talk about our fears and worries and all of that good stuff that writers seem to marinate in.  And it's a good marinade.  And at this point in my life, I am well-seasoned.  But we try to get together to write or at least have phone conversations and talk things out.  David is someone I've begun to share my creative life with and it's great.  Again, another super talented guy who thinks differently.  I like that.

Then there's Cory, who is another humble writer dude, who asked me to coffee (or maybe I asked him--I don't remember).  Another talented writer who is trying to navigate the waters of LA.  We met through the Playwrights Union, the group that I'm a part of out here where playwrights living in LA get together.  It's such a diverse group of folks who are really fucking talented.  So along with Cory, the Union is my posse as well.  All of those ladies and gentlemen are terrific and really make me feel like I have  a true community out here.

And there are others...

The one thing I want to do is surround myself with writers who put the work first, who work hard and who are pros (according to the definition of Steven Pressfield in The War of Art).

A pro is someone who loves his work so much that he dedicates his life to it full-time.
A pro is at it every day.  No matter what.  Stays at it all day.
A pro doesn't wait for them to come.  A pro builds it first.
A pro is committed long term in a game whose stakes are sky high.
A pro does not work for free.
A pro does not over identify with what he does.
A pro works for money, but does the work out of love.
A pro self validates.  Does not seek validation outward.  Does not take success or failure personally.

There's a lot more in the book, but I want the people in my posse to be people who are working at being pros.  Amateurs are the opposite of that.  And it's a journey.  It doesn't happen over night.  And it might not be happening when you think it's happening.

I read The War of Art nine years ago, almost.  And when I read it for the first time I thought I was such a Pro.  And now I realize that I had been an amateur for most of those past nine years.  And that's why nothing was happening.

I also got really involved in the business of putting other people forward.  And listen, there's a difference between supporting  your posse and always being the person in the room who is offering a resource.  I believe in support.  I don't believe in standing behind someone.  These relationships have to be mutually beneficial, for the karmic health of everyone involved.  Otherwise, it's what the Kabbalists call Bread of Shame, which is rewards that have not been earned.  There is shame because you don't think you deserve it because you haven't earned it.  And you don't value it.

I believe that we all have to know our worth.  And I know that if I am the only person contributing, then I am not understanding my value.  So, as well-intentioned as certain people in my life are, they won't really be a part of my posse because we're not elevating each other.  And it's not about trading favors back and forth.  It's about true, real support.  If I have a friend who just drains my energy, that doesn't work.  But if I have a friend who doesn't have the connections I have, but helps motivate me every time we talk, then that's a fair exchange.

I'm realizing more and more the value of having other creative people in my life who add to it.  And I understand my responsibility to do the same for those people in my life who are gracious to share with me some important lessons from their journey.  But I really feel it's time now to up the game and spend time with people in my life who I can elevate and who can elevate me.

I am grateful to the generosity of my friends.
I am grateful for THE WAR OF ART.
I am grateful for food.
I am grateful for books.
I am grateful for almost four hours in the office so far.
I am grateful for the new rug in our office.
I am grateful for the amount of light in here.
I am grateful for the space Tim and I are creating together.