At the Factory

I got here at 9:15.  My shoes are off.  My socks are off.  The air conditioning is on.

I got the water for my tea.
Turned on the hot water kettle.
And meditated for 20 minutes
on Inspiration.
Then lots of ideas flew through my head.
The buzzer went off.

I went to my cork board and rearranged some things.
I had done some work last night on cards and I wanted to see
what fit and what didn't fit any more.
As I look at the cards on that board, I can see that there are problems still to fix.
But I forge ahead

I'm at 62 pages as of last night.
This week I told myself I would not give myself a page limit or
even a "goal" of what I wanted to get done this week.
I just wanted to write.
And even though I have written a substantial amount, I still am not setting
a goal.  Because I like the feeling of not setting up an expectation.
I don't want to set my self up for failure.
I want to succeed.
So I just come in and work.
I don't have something I am trying to accomplish for that day.
I just have to be there.

But when I look at the cards on the cork board,
when I look at the books on my shelf,
when I look at my tea,
and my breakfast trail mix from Trader Joes,
and my office space
I know I have set myself up to succeed.
I have given myself a place to be.
I have proclaimed writing as important enough
to spend a legitimate work week
doing it.
Most people work Monday through Friday at a job.
Now I do too.
But the job I have is the job I want.
I always said I wanted to be a writer full time.
And now I am.

So if nothing else,
I have that.
And through that,
I will have everything else.

But none of that matters because I have my
index cards
in front of me
letting me know that there is still work to do.
Ten days ago,
that stack was piled high with 113 index cards
of scenes I had to write.
Now the number of scenes I've written
is greater than the ones left.
I know that feeling of taking a card
and moving it from the To Do to the
Have Done pile.

I can now honestly
and confidently
tell people, when asked,
that I am a Writer.
That most of my waking hours
are spent writing.
That I go somewhere to write every day
that I pay for.
I have claimed space for my writing.
And that knowledge
and that confidence
will ensure that I continue to do it
and with that will come
opportunities.
But I don't have the burden of worrying about that.
All I have to worry about is being prepared
for the day ahead of me
and if there are tasks that are presented to me
to submit a play or a screenplay or a TV pilot
somewhere
to someone
for something good,
then fortunately for me,
the factory is already open
and functioning to its highest capacity.
I don't need to drive over there,
turn on the lights,
dust off the machines,
and let them warm up.
The machines hum
with activity,
they are warm from frequent use
and fully functional.
They are maintained regularly to ensure
that they will continue working for
decades to come.
This is a high volume,
high functioning factory.
And it's constantly churning out product.
As it should.

I am grateful to be a worker at this factory.
I am grateful to be in charge of this factory.
I am grateful that this factory looks the way I want it to.
I am grateful for index cards.
I am grateful for time to think something through.
I am grateful for inner peace.
I am grateful for a hoodie when it's cold in the office.
I am grateful for a friend who is about to come over and share the space with me.
I am grateful for warm tea.
I am grateful for 62 pages and counting.