I Want Everything

One of my favorite Barbra Streisand songs goes like this:

I want to learn what life is for
I don't want much, I just want more
Ask what I want and I will sing
I want everything (everything)

I'd cure the cold and the traffic jam
If there were floods, I'd give a dam
I'd never sleep, I'd only sing
Let me do everything (everything)

I'd like to plan a city, play the cello
Play at Monte Carlo, play Othello
Move into the white house, paint it yellow
Speak Portuguese and dutch

And if it's not too much
I'd like to have the perfect twin
One who'd go out as I came in
I've got to grab the big brass ring
So I'll have everything (everything)

I'm like a child who's set free
At the fun fair
Every ride invites me
And it's unfair

Saying that I only
Get my one share
Doesn't seem just
I could live as I must

If they'd
Give me the time to turn a tide
Give me the truth if once I lied
Give me the man who's gonna bring

More of everything
Then I'll have everything
Everything

Is it greedy to want everything? Or is it just an expression of a mentality of expansiveness? That last question sounds like I've been doing a lot of manifestation work and reading a lot of new agey self-help books. It sounds like I've been dumped in a big pool of The Secret. So far next year, I've committed to teaching three classes, coming back for season three of my show, running our writer's group from January to April, organizing a reading and a workshop, and directing a workshop in June.

I remember the Psychic's words - you're going to be busier than you ever thought you'd be. It seems like at least the first half of 2017 is shaping up to be that. I figure if the Universe is bringing these opportunities to me, I should take them. Who knows where all of this will lead?

I was talking to my best friend Alanna this morning about this very subject. She said, "Do everything." She mentioned that all of my teaching is serving my writing. It's all a part of the same mission. Being in front of my class and lecturing on the very principles I'm applying as a writer helps my work in the room and in pitching. And my work experience makes me a very desirable professor. I had thought about not taking all of this on because maybe it's too much to do or maybe it's too greedy. However, I realize that I have to keep these doors open in order to be able to go back and forth, which is what I want to do. It's a lot to take on and I might be driving myself crazy, because I also have to write four pilots next year.

At the end of the day, this is what I want to do. I want expansion. I want to do it all. A year ago, I had no work and I would have given my right (and left) nut for any of these things to happen. I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth. And the truth is, I want to do it all. I like the idea of teaching graduate students. I like teaching no more than 10 students. And if I want to get in at an LA school, which would make my life much easier going back and forth between work and teaching, then I should probably get in at a local school. Ultimately, I want to do both like my hero in graduate school, Charlie. But I want to have a big career as a showrunner. And in order to do that, I've got to be out staffing and working. I'm not viable to anyone if I'm just teaching.

Everything feeds everything. The theatre company feeds my soul and allows me to produce and support other writers as well as see my work up. This is exactly where I want to be. I want to be producing original work. I want to start directing, so that eventually I will be directing and producing my own television shows. I want to have a production company. It's not just about writing and teaching. This is all a part of the progressive plan. 

I don't know why if you had the opportunity to create and run your own show why you wouldn't. Right now in TV there are no boundaries in what someone can do. You can go from staff writer to showrunner in the course of one job. With digital media, things are changing rapidly. Who knows how long this bubble will last? But it seems like the right time to get involved and do as much as you can. I'm doing EVERYTHING now because eventually I want to be doing EVERYTHING. This is my own Showrunner's Training Program. It's my own post-graduate work. The classroom is my own writer's room. My couch is my own production office. The library is my own conference room. I'm not waiting for these things to happen. I'm making them happen now.

So I guess I have no choice but to do everything. I already am.

My intention is rapid growth.

My intention is YES.

My intention is expansion.

I am grateful for quick yeses.

I am grateful for enthusiasm about me and my work.

I am grateful for good friends.

I am grateful for the people in my life who love me.

The Pause Button

I'm terrible at taking breaks. I'm working at it.

My friend Dominic and I were talking last weekend about how we're both shitty at having some time off. I remember he was a bit panicked about time off about six months ago. And then he got a temp gig that turned into a longer temp gig and now he's going back to work on that project before going back to season two of the show he moved out to LA for. I've been enjoying time with Dominic and talking about how we're managing these early times in our television careers as people who have been working to get here for awhile. He gives me hope that being a journeyman writer is possible.

Being productive is ideal. But you've got to recharge the batteries at some point. I'm really bad at it. Today, I watched all of the Gilmore Girls revival. I've been watching this PBS documentary series called Soundbreaking. I've watched most of the eight episodes. I put my feet up. I had one email to send to a student regarding a project. But I didn't have any work looming over my head - or I chose not to. I chose not to freak out about the pilot rewrite or the new play I started or the new play I want to start. I chose not to freak out about prepping some pitches for a meeting at the end of next week.

I sat down. I turned on Netflix. I watched TV. I ate and wore comfortable clothing. My afternoon was a Gilmore Girls episode. I enjoyed every minute of it, even though it wasn't perfect. I did dishes and made food. I cleared the refrigerator. I ate my Thanksgiving leftovers. I'm getting ready for tomorrow's grocery shopping. I've let my body go a bit. I've been going to Korean spas not realizing that I really just needed a day like today to chill the fuck out.

Today was the only day I had nothing on the schedule. I could have gone to a play tonight. I decided not to. I'm going to miss the run of that play. I don't care. My social calendar has been busy for the past six weeks at least. I know that this coming week is going to be busy. I know that I'm finishing up the semester. And I know that I'm going to try and go to Vegas for a week to get some writing done. That's going to be my gift to myself before I take off to Portland for the holiday. I'm also being told that work is going to start on my show right after the holiday. So the lesson there is to enjoy my time now. I'll be going back to work soon. And I'll be exhausted. And that will also be great.

I learned a little while ago that the best approach to life is to enjoy what you have in that moment. When I have work, I enjoy work. When I have time off, I enjoy time off. When I have money, I enjoy money. When I have time, I enjoy time. I use the resources at hand to the best of my ability and to the fullest extent I possibly can. So right now, I have free time. I need to enjoy it.

My intention is relaxation.
My intention is to breathe.
My intention is to be still.

I am grateful for my life.
I am grateful to do the things I want to do.
I am grateful to know what those things are.

The Power

My friend Brian used to say, "You have to be aware of the power you possess." Brian is a handsome, smart, ambitious guy who in another life could have been a GQ model. He probably still could, he's in his early 40s and looks great. He was aware that he held a certain authority and charm over people. He knew that because of the way he looked, his brain and his personality, he could achieve a lot. He was incredibly self-aware about the way to use that influence.

When we were in our 20s, I'd look at him and nod. I was in awe of him and this power that he possessed. He seemed so confident and sure of himself.  I didn't understand how someone that beautiful and charming could be a friend of mine. I didn't understand how he could walk into a room and ask for what he wanted. I didn't realize that I had the same power he had.

Sure, I was smart and funny and people seemed to be attracted to me. But I was looking for universal love and acceptance - a myth. I still felt like the buck-toothed, too skinny kid with the bowl haircut. Even though I had left that guy behind years ago, I hadn't let him go completely.

Throughout my life, I have given that power away to people. Brian knew enough to know to harness it and value it. I didn't have that knowledge. I gave away my power right and left. In the past several years, I have learned to own my intelligence. I have learned to own my compassionate heart and my influence over people. I treat it with respect, but I now operate from this place of power. How did I get there? I don't know completely. I started believing that I had something to offer. I still have insecurities, but that's the price of being alive. The trick is to not let those insecurities make you inactive.

I'm watching a lot of cooking documentaries. The chefs that impress me most are the ones I haven't heard of before - the ones who are causing gastronomic revolutions outside of metropolitan areas, outside of the hot spots. I admire these chefs who are cooking on a high-end level on their own terms. I was just watching Chef's Table: France and struck by a chef who cooks in a town in France that's not a   foodie destination.

I started thinking about my own path in life. Nothing I have done is typical. I grew up a working class kid born to Mexican and Chinese-American parents who didn't have a degree beyond a high school diploma. So often in my life, I wasn't expected to do much. I went to the high school no one expected me to go to, the college no one expected me to go to, then I got into a grad school no one expected me to get into. And then I thought I had arrived. So I started doing all of the expected things. None of those things worked out.

Years passed and when I finally stripped away all of these things I had become - or half-become because I wasn't successful at the things I was trying - I was left with my passion for writing and expression. I was on the verge of forty and starting over. No one talks enough about "the reckoning" that one goes through as they approach what's considered "middle age." I have gone through a rebirth because I've gotten back in touch with the things I've always wanted to do. Most people don't get to fully experience this reckoning because they're already on a path with kids and a spouse. Most people are afraid to dismantle all of that. My friend Molly wasn't and when she turned 40 she went back to school and followed her heart. I had the big lesson of watching a father die with regrets. He had a lot of fear and he let it immobilize him to the point where he realized as he was dying that there were still things to do and now it was too late.

In the over four years since his death, I have been living a different life. I have stripped everything bare and I started reinforcing my foundation. About two years in, I started building on that foundation. I spent a year working on my grief. Then I started looking for work. Nothing was coming. I would apply to things, but no one was biting. Meanwhile, I wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote. Then I spent a whole year working on a play. I had no business doing that. I had no money. I should have spent that time trying to get a job I'd hate as soon as I started - at least according to popular logic. Defiantly, I didn't do that. I even had the experience of fighting with my brother who thought I was crazy. I broke up with a boyfriend who wanted things from me that I couldn't give him. I was obsessed with writing and he was obsessed with music. Two obsessed people who didn't want to give in or give up either obsession weren't going to make it. We were getting in each other's way, so we broke up. Then the floodgates opened and my career started taking off.

Watching these documentaries made me realize something: I don't play by the rules. I'm at my best when I'm not following the rules. I'm an Aquarian which means that I go in the exact opposite direction of everyone else. That's where I'm my best. I have the opportunity to make my way in the world by not going in the direction everyone else is going in. I have to dream bigger. I have to jump two to three steps in order to be successful. Thinking small doesn't work for me. It's antithetical to my very being. I'm not normal.

What is normal? Having three jobs that I have to juggle - which could be a very real possibility coming up. Normal is not having a designated living space right now. Being rootless. That won't always be the case, but I'll have to find a way to make that work for now. I want my own space. I want to create my own reality - and it will be small initially. I want to take every opportunity and make it work for myself. I am now well aware of my power and what it takes to do the things I want to do.

I have said that the play I wrote this year has broken me open as a writer. I'm excited and curious to see where that leads me. Who am I as a writer now? That remains to be seen. But right now I do know that I am a playwright/TV writer/teacher/theatre company member. And I've got a lot of work to do. I've got this far not caring what other people think and I'm going to continue along that road. I've got strong opinions and I fight for what I believe in. I'm going to continue to do that. I don't have time for my brother's negative opinions that things are good now, but "what about next year?" I don't live that way - that thinking doesn't sit well with my soul. I'm a hardworking optimist. So what if I rub some people the wrong way? I can't be concerned with that. I've got to run my restaurant the way I want to. I've got to follow my instinct. And to do that, I've got to be alone. That's the best way for me to access my Power for now.

My intention is expansion.
My intention is to say YES to everything. 
My intention is to have it all.
My intention is to juggle and spin the plates.

I am grateful for a day of rest.
I am grateful for shutting off.
I am grateful for the end of Thanksgiving leftovers.
I am grateful for 11:11.
I am grateful for quiet.

Overwhelmed

Art matters! Especially now!
Teaching jobs!
Writing gigs!
Pilot rewrite!
Personal safety!
Fights to wage!

I'm a bit overwhelmed right now. Also a bit hungry. I'm waiting for my meal at the Korean Spa where I'm supposed to be writing today. I have students I'm supposed to be getting notes back to. I have 28 students, so I'm having to rush through notes to get everything done in time for them to do rewrites. I'm being told by friends that I need to not do so much work for my students. And I'm not excited to finish these notes, not because I don't adore my students. But because I know I'm being compromised. It's too many students. Even maintaining my cap of 25 would have been overwhelming. I know I'm not giving them everything I can give them. But I also know that these students need me more than many because they're at a state school. It makes me realize how lucky I was to have gone to private schools.

I love teaching. But I don't like this compromise of having to peruse student work instead of dive into it because of time. It's either my own work or theirs. And I have to choose mine. But seriously, the compromise is driving me crazy. I'd say that it's killing me, but given the serious shit that's going down in our country right now, I don't want to be flip with my expressions.

I have a pilot I'm trying to fix. But I'm immobilized right now. It's that normal fear and anxiety that all writers feel when they have to work on something. We curl up in a fetal position and we whimper in a corner because life is hard. Writing is hard. Living is hard. I always get this way and then I remind myself at some point that I need to keep going. And then I do.

I'm having a hard time with that today. Thinking about work possibly starting in January and the vacation I'm going to have to reschedule or adjust because of work - which I'm glad to have, by the way.

And then there's this overwhelming feeling that I need to be doing something about the world we're living in, about the fact that a white supremacist faction has entered the White House (making it the really White House), and my voice is more important than ever. I've been looking for purpose in the work that I do - the commercial work that I do - and it looks like I've found it. Because people don't go to the theatre or see the theatre in the numbers that people watch TV. And if our shows have people who are different shades, shapes and sizes, of different experiences, and with different opinions, but they still stick together, then maybe that will reflect back to our world. We need to remember that our differences enrich us all. And that none of us can be intolerant. I can't be liberal and intolerant. And people can't be conservative and intolerant. Yes, I'm always the one who has to adapt to my surroundings. I'm never the one who has to be adapted to. And I've taken that habit of adapting into my relationships, into my work life - into all aspects of my life.

I have the feeling the anger in me is about to have a voice. I find myself angry at my liberal friends who  haven't been the best allies. And they're feeling even more overwhelmed than I am. Because even though this world is scary now, it has always been a scary place for me. I've just gone outside. And when I read how much people have been upset and blown away by what has happened to our country because of the election, I want to dismiss their feelings. But then I remember that for many of them, this is the first time they've felt ostracized or dismissed in a real way. And I want them to remember that feeling and know that I'm here with them. And now we're truly on the same team. And let's do shit.

But I get that feeling of not knowing what to do as well. I've got my fury to carry me for right now. And that's okay. That anger will become action. It's already becoming action. My theatre company is organizing and getting a group together. I've sent emails. I've made phone calls. I started writing something new. All I can do is keep going. The world needs me.

My intention is unity.
My intention is expansion.
My intention is awareness.
My intention is action.

I am grateful for music.
I am grateful for a quiet refuge.
I am grateful for love.
I am grateful for theatre.
I am grateful for friends to go to the theatre with.

What the Psychic Said, Revisited

About five months ago, I met a psychic in a Korean Spa. He said some things to me that I wanted to hear and that I liked hearing. But I'm also getting the feeling that what he said is starting to come to fruition.

Here's the original post:
http://creativityinrealtime.blogspot.com/2016/06/the-night-i-met-psychic-at-korean-spa.html

Maybe I have taken what he said I've started to visualize it or believe it and therefore it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Or maybe he sensed the energy. Here's a recap of what he said:

• I'm going to be busier than I ever thought I'd be - Well, this week has been a big indication that life starting in January might be super crazy busy. I am teaching two courses, there may be a third at another school, and I there might be some writing work coming. I'm not busy yet, but I can feel it coming. I'm also taking over my company's Writer's Group for a few months while my friend Brian goes and does a play at Steppenwolf. And I'm directing a play workshop in June. I welcome this amount of work. I remember when the psychic told me that in June, I thought, that sounds about right. It definitely resets the rest of the year and lights a fire under my ass to get some things done. I also had an idea for something new today - a play that could also possibly be a TV show.
• I'll ultimately take a break from being so busy and will be financially stable enough to take that break - That's to be seen. But it also feels like how I'd like my life to be. Really busy, then a break. This feels like the way I want to live more than anything else.
• The pilot I'm writing is going to be the thing that launches me. - It feels more like the play I've written is going to be the thing. But  that's only because I think the play is the best thing I've written. But you never know what's going to set you on your course. I think the pilot's good too.
• I have a community of writers who admire me and affirm me - That is true. This was probably the statement he made that I believed the most. And then it became easier to tap into what he was saying. Also, I was already tapping into his energy, with or without hearing what he had to say. His energy felt genuine to me, which is why what he said resonated. My community continues to support me and make me feel like I actually know what I'm doing.
• I'll be moving back to LA soon - I feel that.
• Ride the Wave - I can feel the wave building. I remember when he made these predictions, I wanted them to be true right then. But everything takes time. And as I finished the pilot and had the play workshop, I felt something changing. I've become more involved in my theatre company since he made those predictions. I am doing a lot with the company coming up this Fall and Winter.

Of course, it's temping to believe a psychic when they tell you positive things. Everyone likes to be affirmed. But this experience felt like more than that. I've had the experience of some people seeing into me. I've got open energy and people can be drawn to that. It certainly draws me into intuitive energy. When I told my friend Christopher earlier this month that I was thinking about directing, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I think that might be the next thing for you." This is a guy who knows theatre and has worked with some of the best directors in the business. For him to take what I said seriously and to agree that the choice to start directing seems like a good direction for me to go in is a good sign.

I'm saying YES to everything right now. I remember my friend Caitlin gave me that advice years ago after a break up. I have expansive energy. Everything I do expands into bigger opportunities.  I start out a job and then that turns into a bigger opportunity. It has happened with every job I have had. So sometimes I worry that I'm expanding too much. Ride the Wave. Okay, I'm going to take that advice. I can't be afraid of expansion. It's great to be that overwhelmed.

This year has given me so much that it's hard to believe. I don't want to fill my life so much with these other things that are wonderful and bring me great pleasure that I don't leave room for other new adventures. I need to stay open. I need to stay positive. And I need to ride the wave.

My intention is openness.

My intention is YES.

My intention is joy.

I am grateful for this week.

I am grateful for the now.

I am grateful for my theatre community.

What now?

Our world has been turned upside down. The world is not as loving and compassionate as we thought it was. That seems to be a shock to a lot of people I know. As a person of color, that is not a shock to me. I've always felt that my education and my intelligence have elevated me to a place where it's very easy to forget that people who look like me have it hard. I'm not shocked that Trump won. I saw it as a possibility always. I have people in my life who say that they never saw it coming.

And it's clear that we're living in two different worlds. I keep reading Facebook posts and notice that a lot of my friends are trying to find theories to why he won - vote tampering, bad polling, Bernie voters who never rallied around Hillary - the list is long. There's an anger in this country that I've been aware of ever since high school when a bunch of friends talked in hushed tones about their Latino friends who got into the schools they wanted to get into because of affirmative action. A population of people feel like they're getting ignored. These people are privileged because of their skin color. And now the world seems unfair and they can use their privilege to do something about it.

And not all of these people are on the right. Some of these people who got complacent said that racism was over after Obama was elected. And they're shocked - SHOCKED - by the racism, sexism and homophobia still in this country. Because we have marriage equality, woman are getting better roles in Hollywood, and no one's getting lynched. We're a country divided.

As a young kid, some of my favorite TV shows were written or produced by Norman Lear. He changed the game. He pushed the envelope. He changed the face of television. We were a country divided then too - by Vietnam. Tensions were high because it was the first wave of civil rights. There's a group of people who never accepted that. And they've been given voice by our President-elect. They've been given legitimacy by his rhetoric. I loved all of those shows growing up and I've realized lately that there are more shows that seem to follow in that tradition. But that tradition needs a political climate to thrive. We're here now.

So what now?

My friend Cory and I were talking this morning about how our work feels more relevant - even work we were writing before the election - in this climate. I said that nothing's considered too political right now. I think we try to build understanding. And we do that by writing and sharing our work. We do it by trying to get our work produced. But if we're just preaching in our work and we feel that this climate gives us the right to be pedantic and scolding, then we're missing the boat. We need to bring people together more than ever. I need to feel closer to the person next to me, not further apart. And our differing political beliefs has the potential to divide us even further. We live in a niche society - super personalized to the point where we're separating ourselves more and more. We have news outlets that cater to the way we think. We have clubs and organizations and even industries that support one way of thinking. We're constantly preaching to the choir and making ourselves even more suspicious of anyone who doesn't think like us.

I have friends who didn't think they needed to be political in their work. We have a generation that feels like the word "feminist" is bad. We've gotten so privileged in our ability to walk down the street and not be verbally or physically attacked. The problems have disappeared enough - really, gone underground - that they don't seem like problems anymore. I look forward to the work that will be created in reaction and protest. I don't look forward to the world I might be living in right now. But if we react and protest, then we change. The responsibility has landed squarely back in our laps and not in the hands of politicians. I don't like what Susan Sarandon said about letting things fall apart for the revolution to happen. But now we're in that situation and now we have no choice. We got there ourselves. This could have been prevented. But now that we're here - and the revolution's here - we need to be passionate, irreverent, angry and active.

I've been pretty pissed about friends who have buried their heads in the sand for a week and then have emerged - "ready to do something!" And that something is a lot of Facebooking or a lot of talking about the things we should be doing.  The day after the election I emailed my theatre company and said we needed to get going with our new initiative to have a gathering space to respond to the things happening around us in the moment. I decided to rewrite our fundraising letter because we need money in order to do the things we want to do.  I did that. I took action. While so many of my friends are planning to get on an action committee to figure out what they should be doing and how to organize. That's what privilege gets you - time. I don't think we have time.

I wrote a Facebook post on Thursday in reaction to a hate crime on the campus I teach. That got a bunch of responses. Yeah, it was a stupid FB post and a small action. But I shared my story of feeling like I could be a target based on what I look like and how I act. This was a surprise to a lot of my friends and they felt horrible that I felt unsafe. They gave me warnings on how to "keep your head on a swivel." Like I haven't been doing that since I was a kid. I have a defensive stance and an angry face when I walk around because I'm used to having to be on the defensive. My armor's up a lot. This feeling of being unsafe isn't new! I'm sharing it with you now, so it might be new to you. But this is my everyday. And I don't crumble at the weight of that - I don't stay in bed - because this is my regular normal, my old normal. I have multiple targets on my back at any given moment, so I have no choice but to go outside and live my life. I have no other options.

So what now?

I continue to be the person I've always been - brave, bold and loud. And I continue the work I've always done, perhaps with a more receptive audience. That's all that changes - the world around me.

My intention is to be vocal.
My intention is to continue.
My intention is to be still and know.
My intention is to pay attention.
My intention is to entertain.
My intention is action.

I am grateful for conversations.
I am grateful for community.
I am grateful for love.
I am grateful for action.

Next Steps

Every day since the new moon, I have been doing something productive towards my career. According to my horoscope, I am setting my intention for the rest of the year by doing this. I have had lunches, caught up with old friends and colleagues, connected with some new friends and colleagues and done work towards setting up the next year of my career. 

I had drinks with my friend Christopher last night, someone who used to live here and not lives in New York. I knew him in my other life where I worked for someone powerful and I dated someone powerful and had little time for myself. This was the life where I apologized for who I am. This is the life I am healing myself from. He looked as good as always. He's a new dad. We talked about the changes that had happened in both of our lives since we last spoke. I talked about my new perspectives. We talked about work, but not in a way that felt forced. Whenever he was in town, I always made a play to try to make a connection or have a business interaction. He said that he could tell over the past few years from my Facebook posts that I was a calmer person because my posts were calmer. I smiled. It's funny that a friend could notice the changes in me just from my Facebook posts. We talked about how I had changed. 

We spoke about my involvement with my theatre company and the friend I had just lost. I said that I was really curious about directing and that I would be directing a reading of a friend's play. He looked at me and said, "I think that's your next direction. I can tell from the way you talk about it." I've acknowledged to myself that I'm curious about it, but I didn't think about it in any grander way than that. But I had been thinking about it. I had to co-direct a short play I wrote recently out of necessity. When I mentioned that to a friend, he suggested I direct a workshop of his. We're going to do that. And now I have someone I really respect confirm that's an area I should look into.

I had coffee with my friend Elizabeth the other day. She's an upper level TV writer/producer and she's got a lot of expertise. She looked me in the eye and said, " Do you want to work in network television?" I said YES. She thinks there's a path for me to do that.

A lot of votes of confidence lately. And I know what I need to do. I need to work on the pilot rewrite I'm working on. I need to start thinking about this new play. I will be taking over the writers group for my theatre company temporarily while one of our members is out of town doing a play. I've had ideas about that for awhile. I'm excited to implement them. We'll be building on what we've been working on for the past almost two years. I'm thrilled for that.

As I head into the last two months of the year, I know that there are some definite possibilities for me next year. I have been offered two classes in the Winter/Spring. I  am going to Vancouver in February for my birthday. I'm moving. I've got a lot of plans for the first half of the year. I made a plan to write four pilots next year. I'm going to be busy. Lots of changes ahead. Lots to look forward to.

My intention is expansion.

My intention is self-healing.

My intention is compassion.

I am grateful for the support of a growing community.

I am grateful for places to call home.

I am grateful for friendship.