Running Affirmations: Nine - Take the Opportunity to Ask for Help

I went for a run this morning.  The weather is changing.  It is starting to look like fall.  This song sums up my feeling and sets up the visual:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q51incm4hKA

It's 10 AM and no one is on my running path.  If the weather stays this way, this might be the perfect time of day to come out here.  We have been in an indian summer.  This is the first real sign of the Fall. When it's "Grey in LA" I get incredibly contemplative.  Because the day was so gloomy and no one was out on the path, I felt more freedom to make my intentions loud.  Or it could have just been the intentions themselves.

Take the Opportunity

I have been more intentional about my wants and desires lately.  I know that I need to get a new agent or manager for my writing.  I fired my managers in May because I felt like they weren't doing anything for me.  I waited so long because I was waiting for things to change.  I realized that I do this in relationships a lot.  Or at least I have had a history of doing that in relationships.  So I decided that I would take a cue from my approach to dating:

Don't worry so much about it.

When I'm single, I don't worry about finding "the one."  I don't look in every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse trying to find him (thank you Tommy Lee Jones).  I just live my life.  But when it comes to my career, it's like I'm desperately looking for a fugitive who has escaped.  I have given myself time to be single, to just do some work on myself.  To figure out what it is that I want.  And I haven't taken much time to worry about my relationship with myself.  After all, it is the most important relationship we have (thanks, Carrie Bradshaw).

So now that I have been "single" for a while, I'm exploring my options and looking into dating again.  I'm asking friends if they know of anyone who would be a good fit.  I'm just putting some feelers out.  But in the meantime, I'm doing the personal work.  I'm getting my scripts where they should be...for me.  Not for anyone else.  I'm not trying to figure out what it is that people want to read or what the industry wants.  I don't know if I'm ready for full commitment, but I'm looking to date around.  I should see what's out there.

I have reached out to a few friends to see if there's anyone they know who would be right for me.  I have a few other friends I can reach out to.  But I'm taking my time.  I want to find the right fit.  Someone who will allow me to be myself.  Another strong minded individual who doesn't try to get in my way, but will support me in being the best version of myself I can be.

The dating metaphor really works here.

Ask for Help

This was the second mantra of the run.  I don't ask for help enough.  I take the opportunity to meet with folks, but I don't say exactly what I want.

I don't express my frustrations with my writing career because I want everyone to think I have it together.  Well you know what, if people think you have it together, they don't bother to help.  Because  you don't need their help--according to you.  According to what you're telling them.  I'm finally admitting that I need their help.

Anyone and everyone.

And the two phrases work really well together...

Take the Opportunity to Ask for Help

I was on Facebook yesterday and I saw that my friend who works at Sundance checked in at LAX.  I had just emailed him about something recently.  Something I needed help with, actually.  So I went to my email to see if he had time before I leave town for a small trip.

I had an email from him, asking me if I had time to meet up.

Perfect!  I didn't need to send the first inquiry.  So we're seeing each other this afternoon at his hotel.  And I will take the opportunity to ask for his help.  I am applying for these fellowships and theatre development opportunities, but they don't seem to be panning out.  And with Sundance, it hasn't panned out.  But that doesn't mean he can't be helpful.  He clearly knows people I should talk to.  He might have thoughts about the approach I'm taking.  He could put me directly in touch with people.  I'm going to let him that I need help.  That I am in need.

I have another friend who works for a theatre who has offered to refer me to a specific manager.  I have emailed her and haven't heard back.  I will re-email her today because the energy feels good.

I met a famous playwright a few weeks ago.  I will re-email him.

I have a friend whose husband is a theatre director.  I will ask him to read my stuff.  See who he knows.

My mother has always said that you don't get anything unless you ask for it.  If you don't ask, you don't get.

And she's right.

Somehow the message of taking the opportunity to ask for help felt clear and strong in my throat.  So I articulated it as clearly as I could.  And I said it out loud and not in a whisper.

It's a message that I need to hear loud and clear.