2015: The Year in Review

I got together for lunch and a writing session with my friend Cory yesterday. He had been in Maine teaching for the Fall and we hadn't seen each other in about two months. Cory's one of my plutonic straight male friends. He's super cool and funny and he likes me. That's why we're friends. I also like him, immensely. He's charming and funny and wicked smart. We were standing outside of the cafe after lunch and talking about the fact that it had been a good year for both of us. It's hard to remember that in the midst of striving for the things we want. But he has gone to the Humana Festival and to Sundance this year. He got a great gig teaching too. We spoke about some friends who, no matter what, seem miserable. Great things could be happening, but you wouldn't know it--and neither would they--because their anxiety takes over. I understand fear and stress and worry. But here's what I learned about worry a long time ago: It's praying for something you don't want. I don't know where he heard it, but my ex had heard that somewhere. And I realized that once I lowered my anxiety, I had a lot more time to do other things.

Since this whole "Year in Review" thing seems to be an exercise in Gratitude, let me share what I've learned about gratitude over the past few years. When you're thankful for the things you have, you aren't preoccupied by the things you don't have. It just makes life easier to live. I might have friends who are very successful and full of anxiety all of the time. Just because you're anxious doesn't mean you can't be rich, rich, rich or famous, famous, famous or important, important, important. But it does mean that life isn't that fun to live. And I'd rather enjoy the day-to-day reality of my life. It's much better that way. I've learned that just the act of saying what I'm thankful for either in the moment, long afterward or in this blog helps me maintain a level of gratitude at all times. I live in a place of being grateful. Now I'm not always successful, but it's a better life when that's the standard. So that's all a precursor for me to talk about what I'm thankful for this year:

• I got to work on a play that's very important to me with a theatre company from scratch from February to September. And we had a successful reading. I got to work with people I love and who made my work better.
• I then got two pilots written between September and December.
• I got to work on a short play and that might result in a new project in the new year.
• I flew to Portland to interview for a job and got to see my niece and nephews again this year--a total of three times.
• I taught a bit this year and I got the call to teach in early 2016.
• I have supportive friends.
• I have a community of theaters I work with in LA. That's something I always wanted. I'm a member of a writer's group at Chalk Rep. I worked on a play with Moving Arts. I worked on a reading with Celebration Theatre. And I'll be having another reading with The Blank in the new year. I love having all of these relationships.
• I became a better writer this year because of all the productivity.
• I wrote almost 2000 pages this year with all the drafts I wrote this year. That's double what I wrote last year.

There are other things I'm thankful for. I have better perspective on life. And I'm a calmer person because of meditation and living more in the moment. I have less anxiety and more hope. I've had a good year and I think I'm being set up for a great year next year as well. Do I want more opportunities? Of course I do. But if I looked that this year without gratitude, then I'd be a fool. Many things that are already starting to look bright for next year are a direct result of what happened this year. I can only be thrilled for the investment I've made in myself and I'm moving into a different phase of my life. 

Hopefully, I can allow myself to really take a rest--and reset--before the new year starts. I need to recharge my battery with my boyfriend's love, the love of my family and especially my niece and nephews. I'm looking forward to just being a crazy fun uncle and laughing a lot.

I am grateful for family.

I am grateful for the thoughts in my head.

I am grateful for rest.

I am grateful for doing nothing.

I am grateful the things in life that make me smile.

I am grateful that I'm able to get new tires.

I am grateful that I'm still having fun.