2016 Intention: Peace of Mind

I meditate.
I sit in silence a lot.
I make time for quiet.
And yet I STILL need Peace of Mind?
Let me explain…

I'm working toward a state of being where thoughts flow through me, where I give less of a shit about things and where anxiety doesn't consume my time and thoughts. My meditation practice helps, I should be doing it twice a day. I should be doing it at least once a day. It doesn't always happen. So in 2016, I want to make sure I do it every day.

My friend Hilary and I were hanging out yesterday while I was visiting Portland. We talked about how as you get older, you stop giving a shit. Maybe it's that I care less about what other people think. I spent so much of my life being such a people pleaser and not wanting to be a guy people could criticize, chastise or hate. No one is that guy. No one walks through life free from other people's opinions. You can't stop the opinions. But you can stop reacting to them. And you can stop needing their approval. That's where I'm trying to be. And that's what I mean by peace of mind.

Doing the daily work of doing what I love helps. I write every day. I make time in my life to write. When I had even less peace of mind I spent most of my day doing things I hated. I constantly felt like I was compromising myself. I don't feel that way these days. I will have to take "day jobs" or gigs that take me away from writing my own stuff 24/7. What I have learned in the past several years is that if I am clear in the intention of what I want to be and I don't completely give that up, I'm on the right path. Even if my path takes me to writing on someone else's show or into the classroom or even into an office for a nine-to-five job. I can't give up writing. And making a plan for writing is what keeps me on that path.

I have friends who have a hard time trying to get everything done. I think that's pretty common. No one has the perfect set up of unlimited time, finances and ideas. We all face challenges to our productivity. We all face limits. I have friends who write one or two scripts a year, which is remarkable. For me, I like to write more. Some of that has to do with having ideas that are popping. Some of that just has to do with my own competitive nature with myself. I feel like I have to build those muscles. If I wrote x amount of scripts last year, then maybe I'll try to write more this year. Because once I can do more, I try to. And that's not coming from some arrogant place of "I'm better" or "look at how awesome and productive I am." I try not to think about how others are seeing me. I often fail at that. I mostly fail at that. But my main goal in life is to have a daily experience that's good.

That comes down to peace of mind. If I'm in a good place with what I'm doing then I have less anxiety and I worry less about what others are doing or thinking. That actually frees up a lot of space to get shit done. When you stop spending time on things you don't need to worry about, then you've got more time to do the things you need to do. Worrying for me is like filling up on white dinner rolls and starches at the buffet. When I'm at the buffet, I go for salads and meats. I go for the things that are of the highest quality with the smallest amount of bad stuff and I load up. That usually means (if the buffet is good) that I'm filling up on a lot of different things. I get to try and taste everything. It's a perfect analogy of how I try to live my life. Less filler, more thriller. Any food analogy is a good one.

It started out years ago with a cleanse I did. Once I started being more conscious of what I was putting into my body because I had to, it gave me the feeling that I could take that concept and place it in other areas of my life. I could be more mindful of the thoughts I was putting into my head. Then I could be more thoughtful about the people I was allowing into my life. This eventually lead me to the realization that I need more quiet in my life. Then I started driving around without the radio on. Eventually that lead me to meditation. And meditation led me to needing more silence in my life and now I try to live with only the necessary sounds and messages I need to hear. Again, no filter.

So my intention is for Peace of Mind. But I've already been building up to it. So I guess my intention is to maintain that state of mindfulness like a steady hum of necessary white noise. And that background noise is not made up of filler, it's all good stuff.

I am thankful for the time off I just had.
I am thankful that I did nothing and I shut my brain off.
I am grateful for the energy that has brought about.
I am grateful for the clarity that has brought about so I can set intentions.
I am grateful that the Universe is speaking clearly to me.
I am grateful that I am getting the courage to listen.