Conspiring Toward Action

That sounds like some intense self-help book title.

CONSPIRING TOWARD ACTION

Something Dr. Brene Brown would write - like Daring Greatly. By the way, that's not a read. I love Dr. Brene Brown. And I aspire to keep daring greatly - so no tea, no shade, no pink lemonade. I remember that quote about how when you're putting your energy towards something that's pure, the universe conspires to help you get it. I feel like I'm in that space right now. It's not a moment. It's not a mishap. It's not something I fell into. I worked hard to get here.

The thing I've learned about myself in the past few months is how just changing my POV can make all the difference. I didn't change the way I worked. I changed the way I thought. Maybe it's because I left my boyfriend. Maybe it's because I made different choices. Maybe it's because I finally thought I deserved the things I had desired. Maybe it's luck. Maybe it's preparation. Maybe it's a combination of all of those things. I am not sure why the Universe has conspired in this way now. But I want it to continue.

And when a way of thought is reinforced, then that way of thinking gets stronger. And yes, it does turn into finding a new level of hard work. I can definitely say that I am working harder now that I had been before. But when I reached that high point of working on my own and pushing myself, I had exceeded my own boundaries. I needed - and had a desire for - an outside entity to teach me by giving me an extra push. I got what I asked for.

I had spent two years working really hard - and not that that's all it takes - the work has to be continual. I do know that my relationship had gotten in the way. It made me doubt how hard I was working and how I was working. I don't blame my ex for any ill-intent, but his energy was a block. I can see that now. It didn't look like a red-eyed monster or a fire-breathing dragon. It looked like a sweet, nice guy from Wisconsin with friendly, beautiful blue eyes, nice things to say, encouragement, and a great body. It looked like all of the things I was supposed to want and invite into my life. But all of those things were a distraction from what I should be doing - which is working, hard and constantly on myself. Putting myself first. I feel now that once I get the rhythm of doing for myself down and making my own way, then I will attract a partner who will support and reflect all of those things back to me. I have big things that I want and more places to go.

I have to renew my passport - side bar, but not really. There's something about expanding my world view that involves being able to travel.

May is going to be a busy month for me. I have this play reading on the 23rd. I have my episode of the show I'm supposed to write. My manager wants me to do a rewrite of a pilot and I just got an email about another project the company I'm working for is interested in having me develop. I'm super interested, of course. There are plenty of irons in the fire right now. And it seems like the more in the direction of being productive and getting my shit done, the more opportunities open up for me. That's a good thing.

I'm just going to keep on truckin'. Not paying attention to any thing going on around me. Just with my head firmly down on my own paper, moving forward.

I am grateful for the opportunities blossoming for me.
I am grateful for good news.
I am grateful to be writing and getting paid for it.
I am grateful for my ability to go away and get my work done.
I am grateful that I can focus.