Why Write?

I finished my last project a week ago.
So I've been watching a lot of things and reading a lot of things.
I have a memoir I just finished.
I am starting to read a non-fiction book about Newtown, CT
and Sandy Hook.
I have a bunch of Woody Allen and Robert Altman movies to watch,
plus a documentary on Woody to rewatch.

And I am starting to read articles to research my next play.
I'm not sure how long that process should take.
Obviously, I have ideas for the opening scene.
As I'm writing things are occurring to me.

I actually have a short writing project that's due next week.
I have to turn in a rough draft of a monologue.
And I'm thinking I might write the monologue to find my way
into the new play.

I've been reading some new plays for a theatre in town.
And I have the same question for every play I read:

Why did the playwright have to write this play?

And most of the time, I can't think of a good reason.
The playwright read an article.
The playwright was interested in a certain historical figure.
The playwright thought they were funny.
The playwright is working through some family shit.
The playwright thinks that plays that have source material are most likely to get produced.

Nowhere in the plays I've read so far have I felt an impulse.
Or any sort of pulse.
There is no heart beating in any of the plays I've read.
I also ask that question of plays that I've seen.
Most of the plays I've seen don't need to exist.
That is harsh.
And who am I to judge?

But if they don't ask good questions.
If they don't grapple with an important feeling, subject, question…
they why bother?
If that play can't pierce me somehow then I don't care.
That's me personally.

Some people like to walk into the theatre and feel smart just by watching something that's smart.
Some people feel it's okay for a writer to show off in front of them.
Some people just want something safe and familiar.
I'm not that audience.

Mostly I like plays that make me feel.
If I can't have that, then I want the playwright to push the form.
Or I want them to tell me something I don't know.

I do like being challenged, but I also like being drawn in.
Don't keep me at arms length distance.

I put myself through the same test when I'm trying to figure out if a play has something I want to say.
How do I know that?
I think of an idea.
Then I sit on that idea for six months to a year while I work on other things.
When I have a break in my schedule, I bring up that idea again.
If it still is intriguing to me,
then I start doing work on it.
Mainly reading articles.
Googling.
Trying to find out as much as I can to see if the
idea holds any weight.
If the research starts generating ideas, then I know I'm in a good place.
If not,
then I usually have another idea I want to explore.
I move on to something else.

Currently, I have an idea I like.
I have taken out book from the library.
I have been doing on line research.
I've talked to friends about it.
The idea seems to be sticking.

I have a great subject for a play.
I have a great idea.
But do I have a great approach?
Do I have something to say?

I think I do here.

This idea is actually only four months old.
I'm taking it on because I think I'll need to do a lot of research.
In the meantime,
there's an idea I've been thinking of for almost a year,
which is a way more fun idea.
The research will be a lot of fun.
It involves watching a lot of movies.
And that play will feel a lot more autobiographical.
It is a period play.
And it's writing about a relationship I have been waiting to
write about for years.
I think I have the right idea.

I have one more idea for a play
that's older as well.
But I can't crack it.
I have done a ton of research.
I have a lot of ideas.
But I don't have a way into the subject.
There's no real story there.
But I think it has a lot of potential.
So I'm going to sit on it.
Maybe for another year or so.
This is an idea that I want to play around with.
I don't know how to write this play yet.

The play I'm closest to right now,
I do know how to write.
It's darker.
But I've been going in that direction
and I might want to stay in this dark place--
the last three things I wrote are darker--
for one more go around.

Because the autobiographical play
is lighter.
I'm excited about what that will be about.
I haven't written something that autobiographical
in a real long time.
Everything I write has an attachment to it.
But this other play would be about me
and my childhood in ways I haven't done for some time.

But this is what I'm talking about.
As a writer, I ask myself Why?

I can't just sit down and write something because I read an article.
Although I did see a news report on the subject I'm getting ready to write about.
It's topical.
It's relevant.
It's a political issue that's out there.
But when I saw this report,
I knew that I had found the story I wanted to tell about this particular subject.

I still have to figure out where I'm setting it.
I have to figure out how much humor is present.
I have to figure out whose story I'm telling.

But I'm not worrying about that now.
I just want to read some more.
And see what presents itself to me.

This is the fun part.

I am grateful for so many ideas.
I am grateful for books.
I am grateful for research.
I am grateful for time.
I am grateful for three plays I want to write.
I am grateful to take a break from writing a TV pilot.
I am grateful to do something I feel like I can do.
I am grateful for the challenge.
I am grateful to be at the beginning of this journey.