Everything is Writing

Boot Camp was brutal.
I said that I wanted to come up and do it because I wanted a challenge.
I wanted to be punished.
I wanted to push my mental and physical stamina.

I got all of that.

We ran down Crissy Beach in the Presidio, down a flight of steps and back up.  Three times.
Then we went down and did some push ups.
Then we went down some steeper steps and back up.  Gloriously, only once.
Then some dips.
And some more push ups, declines.
Then I blacked out.
Not really, but everything after that is a blur.
But I stuck with it and I didn't quit.
Even as hard as it got
and as slow as I got.
I didn't quit.  And I didn't fall behind.
At the end, I was done
mainly because I knew it was the end and my mind
was telling me that I was done.
But I finished strong.
We did a few standing balance stretches
and I rocked those.
But my abs in general need some work.
My core.
There are lessons in those two hours I spent running in the sand
and pushing through resistance.
Doing drills.
Yelling and screaming and cursing.
Big lessons.

Then we came back and had pizza and champagne on the deck back at Bill's.
And the boys convinced me to stay the night.
Get some work done in the afternoon and stay the night.
So I agreed.
And I drank a bit.
And I had great conversations.
Bill and I went and grabbed some food later
and I came and tried to work, but instead
took a nap.
It was a good long nap.  I let my body recuperate.
Another lesson.

Then I woke up and Bill and I had a conversation
about life and work
and changes in life and relationships.
That was worth staying for.

And we went out that night
and danced a bit
then came home and went to bed.

Now I'm up writing early,
looking out my window out to the balcony in
my guest room.
Not a cloud in the sky.  Perfectly clear and perfectly blue.
I know i have work to do.
I'm trying not to think about it because
it will be there for me waiting when I get back.
And that's enough.

I am ready for the drive back
maybe with a few stops.
Maybe with a bit of nostalgia along the way.
Maybe doing some writing in a different setting.
Maybe going down the coast and stopping at some coastal towns
I have not explored yet.
Just like one has to trick one's body into working a certain way:
muscle confusion.
I need to trick my mind into doing more work
by switching things up:
mind confusion.

I think I need to come up with a better name for that.

I am grateful for cocktails and dancing with friends last night.
I am grateful for pure joy.
I am grateful that I helped break a stage,
but didn't break my neck when that stage came crashing down.
I am grateful for waking up early and having a view to greet me.
I am grateful for the generosity of true friends.
I am grateful that gratitude goes both ways.