Mid Process

I think this is the hardest time.

When you're in the middle of the pool,
your legs are tired,
your arms are tired,
your breathing is heavy,
and you have to WILL yourself
to the other side.
It is too late to turn around,
it will take as much energy to turn back
as it will to move forward.
Because if you fail,
you fail because you didn't try.
The secret
is that your willpower or
the threat of
shame and embarrassment
will get you to the end.
Sometimes it's a bit of all of those things.
Sometimes it's strength,
sometimes it's fear,
sometimes it's embarrassment,
sometimes it's codependence.
But whatever it is,
that energy gets you to where you need to be.
And then you get stronger and there's
less shame
less embarrassment
less fear
the next time.
And more strength in its place.

But this is the hardest time.

I have finished a completed draft of the script.
I need to clean it up.
But right now I am writing my story document.
I am explaining what this is
and why this is
and how it will be.

I know there are a few select things that I have to get across.
And if I get those things across,
and if I can grab the attention of the people selecting projects,
draw them in,
then I'm golden.

The writing will fall into place.
The story will fall into place.
But I need to communicate the reason that this story needs to be.
That is the most important thing.

I am grateful for nine hours of work I have now put in.
I am grateful for a place to let my mind be free.
I am grateful for the work I have done so far.
I am grateful that I had a script already written and a story bible already written when this opportunity came to my attention.
I am grateful that I know what Season One will be already.